| still at home volume 2 part 3 - 1959 december | work & days: a lifetime journal project |
December 17 [1959] [Margin: Daddy is again acting like a sulky, petulant, overgrown adolescent at the time this is being written.] The day dawneth! Figuratively - tomorrow is the 18th - I think to be going to Valley View tomorrow, and from there take the bus to the great cité! And approximately midnight, is when I depart on the Canadien Coachways - ah, elegance! I'll probably have to wait around in Vallyview in a café, and maybe meet people! But what I really am writing about is simply this: After the last buzzar at school, Mr. Dyck said "O.K. Please go everybody. All except Elfreda." My jaw dipped and hung openly amid the barage of "a-hem"s that everybody sqwacked, (I believe that's spelled "squawked") Mr Dyck grinned widely, enjoying the whole thing immensely. Probably I looked as dumb as I felt. "Mr Mann wanted to talk to you" he said, and sure enough, just as if on cue, in walked Mr Mann, carrying a great big ruler over his shoulder. And he went straight to the point. He stopped purposely abruptly right in front of me and laid the ruler down on my shoulder with a bang for emphisas. Here it comes, thought I. He was very direct. "Ever heard of the Governer General's gold medal?" he demanded. "Y-yes" I said shakily. And then he tol' me that he wanted and was intending to expect me - actually me - to get it. But he said I'd have to WORK - aw .... ! natchirly I can't - but I'd walk over red hot coals for Mr Mann, almost - so I guess I have to try. I'd hate like anything to let him down 'cause hes a real dear. Honest he is. I'd slave for Mr Mann or Mr Dyck but never for IJC or Mrs Fast - wonder why - I admire Mr Mann more than any other teacher, and any other guy for that matter - and I like Mr Dyck, and sort of admire him too, mostly because of his struggle to get where he is now - So I have a really wonderful set of teachers, and I don't really realise nearly enough how lucky I am. Besides that, Mr Mann said ".... if you don't come out with at least an honors mark, I'll ...." and he demonstrated by swinging that ruler most frighteningly. What a most astonishing occurrence! At the very end he said "I've been thinking very seriously about this - " I left feeling slightly out of breath. December 18th ....10 to 5 PM! This may be one of my most unusual "impressions" entrés - Written in one of the most unusual places. In the Valleyview Phillips 66 café no less! and 1 hour till bus time so I can catch up with my news and maybe write a letter. I'll get to Edmonton about midnight but - so what? I'll think of what to do then! Whoopee! Really I didn't feel a pang when Mom and Dad left - I had all my pangs last night - all I'm going to have anyway. I refused to have any big au revoirs so I was okay, maybe that's why. But last nite I must confess, all sorts of things were chasing each other up and down my spine - exitment mostly, and I hate to confess it, but there was just a tiny bit of apprehension. So, here I sit. The smokey smell of dinner, an empty Coke bottle with the tumbler tipped over top of it. - I'm afraid that the time will be gone far to fast. - And one of my tights clad legs is stretched to the seat on the other side of the table. Im comfortable all right! 5 past 5 PM I put lipstick on right after M'n'P vanished, I didn't look after them, I ordered a Coke! Is this, then, independence? I guess so - I've got 23 dollars and ten cents! Whooppee! I can't spend all of it I guess, but its for the ticket and a room if I have to - beside me is the shabby black suitcase that Mom painted last night - and a shopping bag - not with the air of a seasoned traveller, I can imagine, but it's a begginning! - A beginning! A seasoned traveler would hardly be sitting around writing in a diary with her shoes off - It may be silly, but its such fun! The one waitress is fat and wears far to much lipstick, and flirts too much. The other I like better, shed be pretty if she didn't have an overly developed facial feature, 'cause shes small and slim and is wearing a pretty little dress - also is more reserved. The jukebox is right beside me, I'm in a booth right by the door so I can see everyone and everything. This is irrelevant, but I can feel the vibrations of "goodbye little darlin" through my toes on the seat! Now its gonna play a wildy - Donna's what its called - its far too noisy and beaty - y'know the kind! I looked in the mirror in the washroom, I don't like it too much but it doesn't scare little children. A big red spot on one cheek and another on my chin - my period is too recent - and my hair looks mousey-brown 'cause I washed it yesterday and its queer lookin. Black coat, pink scarf, plaid suit, black tights, black sweater, black boots, black patent purse. I may look somewhat like a widow before attending the funeral of my beloved deceased! But I like wearing black, so there - I wonder what time it is? 25 past 5 Checked with the clock and the restroom again - not too long now, not long enough. I've addressed two cards, - my two teachers and written a few pages - not saying anything, natcherly. 25 minutes left - I saw a doll outside, don't know if he'll come in 'cause he may or he may not - could do either, but just for fun I hope he comes in. Looks like I'm going to have to clean my nails. He did - and his brother - and his mother and father - hes sitting where I can see him but not very well - still, I can look. His mother looks like a frog. If all this stuff looks impertinent to you - remember this is an "impressions book" and these are strictly impressions. I hope there are some cute ones on the bus. Boy, that ought to be good! I must look like a creep or a character - take your pick! I had a hamburger steak for dinner. A hamburger, a little heap of cabbage that had been boiled until it lost its identity entirely. And there were two pathetic piles of potatoes too, also colorles and dull. In my suitcase I've got two of the little presents Grandma sent this morning, and some foil wrapped Christmas cake, and a big bag full of dried cherrys and apples, and a sprinkling of candy besides. I don't give a hoot about not seeing Pop but Moms a little different! She's a good good egg if there ever was one - sometimes I get mad at her, but still she is a darling, and more than that. Maybe I'm just feeling especially sentimental - you always do when you're going somewhere. The doll is dollish in a youngish sort of way. His voice has that same eagerness that I connect with KD, alias HD (ha!) Another doll, oh-oh! I see now that he's not! Big cowboy hat, blue jeans, red shirt, and a big cee-gar! Reminds me of the Johnny Fast type. I'd give him the icing over, but not the Doll. Oh, but now here is one, the curly haired tall type, and dark. But really, what does it matter what, where - Oh, oh! The bus is here. Took a last R.R. (not railroad) check, and am waiting for the driver to finish eating - I'm shaking so hard inside that I can't write very good - not scared just excited! Later - the jerks are from the motion of the bus driving. I switched on my little light, and am reclining comfortably - that means shoes and things off - on a plushy seat cover. There is a pretty girl reading a book, and a nice old man across the aisle. This is life! I love travelling. The bus driver is middle aged but not old - young middle aged, and nice, n' friendly n' all that. [This bus trip as remembered much later, not sure when.] The pretty girl is dark, and cute. Period. I may meet her. Prob'ly. The ticket cost $15.75. I've got some left. And soon Edmonton. I'm not scared! 8:00 PM: I did talk to her - not much, but a little. shes from McMurry And is going as far as White Court by bus. There is a girl with glasses in front of me. The plain type - the missionary type. This writing is so bumpy cause I'm on such a jogging bus! But thrilled still. I dug out one of my Christmas presents - I knew what it was - from Auntie and Uncle (Dyck) Its by Nathaniel Hawthorn and is sort of a Collection of storys - "The Scarlet Letter" and "The House of Seven Gables" plus the best of the "Twice-Told Tales" I read one of the tales. But ho! for tomorrow! The girl has long, beautiful, legs. Quarter to nine - something like that. A stop in Whitecourt. Two guys got on after waving at me thru' the window, I'm inclined not to be very friendly yet. One is cute and one ain't so but I can see a bit of fun later tonight. Maybe. So long as they don't get fresh it's OK. Well, we'll see, and at least it's company. A few select items from their conversation this is what I heard, but not necessarily what they said: "Cute isn't she?" .... "I'm shyer than you are!" ha! The gal, by the way, got off at Whitecourt, and a cute guy got her suitcases and stuff - she's a darling. I talked to the old man for quite a long time and gave "one" a piece of Christmas Cake. What a gag! One of them is real sweet - dark and a little nose and just sweet. About 1:30 AM. Got to Edmonton about an hour ago or more. getting closer to Edmonton, I talked to those guys more, or rather they talked more to me. I read one of their Movie magazines, a Pep comic, and a joke book of theirs. I just glanced very hastily at that. I still think they're cute and kinda nice. Coming into the door, one held the door open for me - how nice. Then, inside the depot, I fooled around a little, and finally put my junk, all except my purse, in a locker and locked it. I went down to the washrooms - checked my hair, and it was getting awfully shaggy. Then I went upstairs again, wondering what to do - I heard the guy say that 12:30 was closing time, and that gave me about 2 minutes - a drunk staggered in, and then he looked at me and said "cute shick - cute shick!" he was very repulsive. By this time I'd decided to do something - So I asked for directions to the YWCA. Walked a couple of blocks - and there it was. So I walked right in again. now, Because this book is to tell secrets to, I'll tell you one - I was a little bit scared but not very - for some reason my eyes were beginning to shed water but that didn't last long. I got a $1.75 bedroom upstairs. Not bad considering the cost. Then I took a long bath in lots of water, and did my hair up. I'm now on a very comfortable bed - and the room is tiny but comfy. I closet, the bed, 2 chairs, a desk-thing, a dresser, and a register. There is a fairly big window looking out into an alley, and from it I can here all those city sounds. Mostly traffic and horns .... The people I saw at the bus depot were many and varied - oh, such types! too many had been drinking And there were many young guys but hardly any nice looking ones - There was one truly beautiful blonde - and oodles of characters - That man on the bus - the old one, got very friendly after a while. He'd been working at G.P. - The road crew. And he was awfully talkative - he didn't want to listen by any chance! This room has 3 pink walls and one blue one - and a light, and a lamp, a hardwood floor, a rug .... Tomorrow I have oodles to do, But I've certainly had my experiences today! A night that's never to be forgotten. December 19 [letter] Station 46, U of A Hosp Edmonton Dear people Got here about midnight and took a room at the YWCA for $1.75. Had a nice warm bath. Took a streetcar all the way from Jasper [Avenue] to the South Door, nearly. Oh, and before that I rode up and down endless escalators. The Eaton's Sanda Claus patted my shoulder. This place is an expensive hotel in disguise. In the lounge, where I am now, there are oodles of things - an electric typewriter, a TV set, a photograph, a Christmas tree, a stack of magazines 2' high, a pile of books, two paintings, a few records, twelve chairs, five couches, 9 tables counting the lamp tables, a phone, twelve 5'x8' windows. Our room - 3 beds, green and grey walls, the south wall almost all windows, and a beautiful view of the city and the university. (I'm right next to a window.) There's a connected bathroom. The curtains are whitish with blue flowers and brown leaves. The beds are green, high and comfortable (everybody's got two pillows!). There are candles and things painted on the windows too. there is one of those handy little green screw up tables with a mirror and a bobby pin tray inside. I'm centrally located on the fourth floor, near all points of interest (maternity section down the hall, four elevators across the hall, nursing station desk next door). My room mates are Mrs Thompson - bed across from mine - a French-Indian who is a great joker. Old and very dark-haired - a squatty figure - has had 10 kids - dotes on Western paperbacks - can be cantankerous if we don't humour her. She calls the janitor sweetheart and the cleaning women my darling. A character. Doreen - the other room-mate - is little, shy and pretty crippled - paralysis from the waist down, quite a bit of pain but brave. Guess what - we get to order our meals. I'm sending you a sample menu. The circled items are what I ordered. I've got a lot of things to do - reading McCalls magazines and Jean Kerr's Please Don't Eat the Daisies. And I'm supposed to paint something on the window too. Tell some people, anybody, to write me some letters. Oh, tomorrow I have my cutting up. But I'll be up and around pretty fast. Dr dear was just in and decided to put that OR date off till Tuesday. So another day of running around. Merry Christmas and all that! December 19th. [journal] Today also has lived up to its promise - Its been a fabulous day, to say the least! Woke up in the YWCA and got up after quite a long time. Cleaned up, checked out - roamed down to the bus depot after roaming through the Hudson's Bay. At the moment, I'm in a plushy sitting room in front of the T.V. with a talkative Indian boy, a shy Italian who looks like Sal Mineo .... This is an international sort of thing - Dutch, Original Canadian and Italian Pretty nice - and now an English Orderly. The TV show is a western - called "Fort Defiance" and is too bloody - strong men at war with themselves and the others. I wonder how much of that's really basic. I looked through the Eaton's and after getting a "Seventeen" mag, and a glass of something I wandered, mostly up and down the esculators. All of a sudden, a guy in the red suit, bouncing over, put his arm around me and said, "And have you been a good girl? What do you like for Christmas?" "How about a Cadillac?" sez I. "Well ," sez he "I've just got one left. I'll tell you what I'll do .... If I can find two more door handles - " And then I inquired, and found a bus that took me nearly all the way - Walked half a block - The doorman helped me, and told me where to go. I got all registered and that - And soon a cute little nurse [missing page] The room is on fourth, room 471 The room is loverly - And the whole joint is like a hotel. After supper That lounge is the gitchiest! An electric type writer, a TV set, a phonograph, a Christmas tree - A desk for craft work - cards, tables, chairs, a stack of magazines about 2 feet high, a bunch of books A beautiful view of the far flung lights. And besides that, theres a guy I could fall in love with. The dead ringer for Sal Mineo - oh! He gives me those little tingles in the heart region Hes got such curly black hair, and big black eyes (he looks at me when he thinks I'm not looking) and brownish tanned skin, hes sort of short, and so thin and helpless looking. That brings out the mothering instinct in me .... Hes shy, but I'll meet him yet, I'll have to rig a strategy. By the way, that physical exam wasn't near as bad as I thought. He was young, talked with an English accent and had a wry sense of humor even tho' he didn't laugh a lot - I was allowed to keep on the barest essentials so it wasn't as embarressing as it could have been. But it did tickle when he was looking for my heart He said "I'm sure you must have one in there. Most people do." When I said "It's standard equipment isn't it?" he said, "no-oo - not allwahys .... " By the way - I have an admirer. He's the long hair type, and talks German. We were gabbing a little. He sat beside me in the lounge, and thought I was 18 - ha! Really tho', everybody thinks I'm older than I am! By the way, he asked if he could come and see me sometimes. I said sure, just for kicks. There are two darlings here - I thought, maybe one - but there are two! One I haven't met yet, but I will never fear! The Italian heartthrob, I've talked to slightly. He asked me to pick up his matches when he dropped them - and then after I did, I sat down on the chaise right next to him. then I didn't have to look at him even, just being so close was enough - As they say in the novels - we touched hands, briefly - when I moved his ashtray closer. Hes got such curly black hair, big soulfull black eyes - tender mouth (made for kissin' and don't I feel like it!) And his complexion is so "sunkist" - hes thin, and small - Just 'sactly my type I'm a fool for curly hair and big eyes and littleness. Or as Mrs Tompson would say, fool-fool-fool. All the time, I was sitting next to him, I was thinking - oh you perfect darling! Or - Youre so sweet - Honest when I start thinkin like that .... We just tossed a few remarks back and forth between scenes, and laughed together over the funny part - oh he is a darling! I'm spending my whole day on reading, writing and T.V.matic - automatic that is - Dec 21 Impressions anyone? Impressions of this, I mean? I don't know what to think My first proposal - and no kidding! proposal-of-marriage! The indian boy in the sun room asked if he could sit with me. I said it didn't matter much. He said "the nurses will think I'm in love with you" I shrugged. He said "I think you're so purdy" I gaped and said something silly about him being the only one. He said "ever since you came I think I love you. I gonna marry yo'" I said "I bet you're not!" He put a grubby hand on my knee - which said hand I removed right speedily. He left. How did I handle it - no impression? I told him I was too young. What a sagging cliché - But true - and I had to explain for the forty millionth time that I'm not 18. When he was gone, I sat there shaking helplessly. It was so funny in a way! The guy across looked at me and thought - loon .... ! Then I dashed off a line to Jan - so she could be the first to congradulate me - and then dashed back to my room where I collapsed, after asking Doreen what ever I should do! Gulp - write it down as an experience! Later - I've got another pal - oooh! Short, about 30, brilliant curly red hair, little red moustache. He sat down beside me while watching the everlasting T.V. and smoked away, with evident gusto. He has an accent - I'm forever running into accents - he gave me a candy, a sort squishy gooey one, and when he wasn't looking, I stuck it under the seat! Both of the "boys" were there, and somehow, in some crazy mixed up way, I'm crazy about both of them at the same time! I can't wait 'till I'm flat on a stretcher, so I can reach them at more of their own level, you might say. I hope I get between 'em - and within hand holding distance, even tho' that would be just too good to be true. By the way, I've heard them call "Sal" Jimmy. Hes a real nurse's pet! (Mine too, but don't tell anyone!) What ever will I do when I leave, or he leaves? I guess it'll just be "Goodbye Jimmy Goodbye" And speaking of songs, I agree with Pat [?] "I enjoy being a Girl!" Because if I wasn't, just look at what I'd be missing! I've been avoiding my near-fiancé. I'd wanted to go to the lounge, but sure enough, every time Id get to the desk, he'd be just around the corner. Now that went on for three times, and every time I dashed back laughing. The fourth time I was very cautious I peeked around the door - all clear! I tip toed past the desk, and peeked around that next corner. Nobody! I was about to advance when - oh, rear attack! He'd come from behind me - all I could do was surrender and smile at him. He said "I guess Id better go!" and went! But later, during a T.V. show, a guy was singin as always, "I love you" and working on a hunch, I peeked at him. Sure enough, looking straight at me. Strangely I don't mind this type of problem very much. Someday It may happen at the right time! December 22 They cut me up. I saw the OR. Back in bed with a knee cast and terrific pain - love those painkillers. December 23 It hurts and hurts and cry baby as I am I've bawled and bawled. Everything seems so vague and unordered. December 24 Christmas Eve and more aches and more tears. But later things cleared up and a spent a magical evening with the tree and Jimmie ... and TV! December 24 [letter] Operation - I was sick for two days. Now I'm up on a stretcher. I think I'm going to manage financially, as I have $4.75 left. I will need $2.50 for the bus from Valleyview to Grande Prairie. However if I'm on crutches I won't be able to carry the suitcase the 3 blocks I will have to walk to the bus, so I'll have to take a taxi. But with my dollar I should be able to manage. Right at the very top of the hospital there is a huge sun-deck, and just where the elevator comes up there's a wee tiny room. Hardly anyone ever goes up there in winter so it's very quiet. I discovered Nicky up there yesterday, and it's an ideal place for talking 'cause it's got a view and exactly two chairs. My stitches come out sometime next week. After that it won't be long enough to stay here. Dear Ever Lovin' George offered condolences - he said the nurses hadn't let him come in. I said good for them! He was very hurt sigh Oh, to explain: After a very weepy night and two rough days I finally was up and around the ward - on a stretcher - with the blanket up to my chin. Sigh - "Sal", Jimmy is his name, was there and I was pretty close. The nurse introduced us. I noticed his long, thin, hands - slim wrists with a wrist watch on it (Like Stans in fifteen?) His mom (?) was in to see him, and brought a big gift wrapped box - some candy, and smokes. She was sweet and smiley. When she left, she kissed him. And called him "honey." Lucky, lucky, lady! (Really - wouldn't I, the vixen that I am, love that?!) I have now been formally introduced, now, how do I charm him? I wish he'd fall as completely as DELG pretends to have. By the way, George gave me a Christmas present (love offering?) - a 10 cent bag of candy. I was very rude, really I was. I guess I'll have to be nicer to him from now on - Today is Christmas Eve - soon this feeling of crystal balls and pink streamers will be gone. And then, New Year And all too soon, time to go home. What a terrible thought! Later in the sunroom. Ah - romantic situation! Only he and I in the room. Close enough for conversation. I'm right next to the tree, with colored lights shining all over me - and he, at ease, hands behind his head, black fringed eyes languidly looking at the T.V. screen. His eye brows are black fringes on his lean brown face and his hair curls blackly all over his head. His long lean length is covered completely by a brown blanket, all except the white nitegown under his chin and one toe sticking out of a white cast - I saw one of his legs - lean and lengthly and fuzzy!! Now, Ellie, a conversation? M-m-m and I did or rather he did. He started but I was very very interested natur'ly. Not goin' home for Christmas, from Lac La Biche, leg paralisis and is so-o-o-o sweet! There was something very magical in tonight's Christmas Eve. Really, a night in the hospital while lying on a stretcher? Oh-h-h, but when you are close to a guy who melts you right down into a little puddle of pink light, like the lights from the enchanted Christmas tree just next to you, and when you share a certain laughingness with him It wunderbar! And when you hear a faint background of silvery carol music, and when the television shows are touching in a Christmas way - well I've got it all golden - with red and green and silver too ....... The mood is dashed slightly by George - "You know, I love you" eeks ah yes, he said he was going to kiss me - whow! I done tol' him right off that he would do no such thing I sayed I'd hollar if he did, so he didn't. But he blew one! I don't mind awfully much, that's the kind of problem I could stand more of, but one confession - I did, dreadfully, want to kiss Jimmy - hes so dear. Well, Merry Christmas! December 25th And a Merry one it is! Oh the red bow in my hair, and one on my cast .... The holly berrys and shiny leaves pinned on my shoulder .... The wistfull smile in Jimmy's eyes .... The Christmas tree's near me and shining down on me with some of the glow I feel - a glow not altogether due to the season - or excitement either - well, it was liquer!! (SW) Well no, I'm not drunk - but I did have 3 sips of Coke spiked with Lemon Gin! Tom mixed some up - he was feeling real good - and gave Jimmy some and me some. The worst of it was, I liked it! Jimmy took one drink, just a teensy one, and made a terrible face. can't stand it, not the drinking type? George gulped the whole thing down in three "glunks" But to begin at the beginning - I woke up just at the sound of the nurses singing far down the hall December twenty-fifth, alls well and a warm happy day! It was dark, but I was determined .... I slid cautiously out of bed - "Where'r you going?" asked Doreen. "to open the door .... " "Oh, I'll do that!" and she was already half slid into her wheel chair. With the door open, we listened while the nurses sang "It came upon a Midnite Clear" Then I ran and grabbed my two parcels from Grandma And Doreen handed me a big bulgy wrapped present. I was so surprised! Totalling up my presents later, my finds were: "Complete works of Nathanial Hawthorn", beautiful, tall, cut glass jar of mauve bubble bath, red wallet with gold stripes, a handkerchief, and a Cutex box with nail polish, remover, and cuticle remover, oh yeah, and an emery stick, cotton batton and a white pencil (I got this on my tray) Well, I got dressed - my black sweater - a red bow in my hair, and one around my cast. Had breakfast after a while, watched a little T.V. Ah, Dinner! Turkey, cranberries, pudding with rum sauce, cocktail, candy, and the present fastened on. After dinner I went down to the sun room on a stretcher again. Tom was there after a while, and George at intervals, but Jimmy was the important one. I was across from him. we started talking more as the evening proceeded - maybe under the influence of Tom's lemon gin? I met his fiance - a brunette, and sorta' cute but not anything I'd especially notice. Tom is a wag! He's got curly black hair, more waving than curly, really - and has roguish eyes and is a teaze - also a flirt, but fun! Very innocently, I asked Jimmy "was that your mother who came to see you yesterday?" "No, she died the same time this happened" and he tapped his cast. That hit me - first he lost his ability to run around and play the sports he loves - and then his mother! I understood a little more now why he looks so sad at times, and wistful, and as if he wanted a lot of T.L.C. mothering .... All I could say was "that's tough .... " and hope he understood what I meant and felt. There was a real chamaradie (SW) with him that night .... I felt like a pal .... when something corny happened on television we'd laugh together, looking into each others eyes as friends. For supper, the nurse set a table between us, and put our trays on it. Ah Christmas supper with Jimmie Muried .... Sal Mineo .... It was a dee-lish supper! Seafood salad, custard, potato chips, christmas cake .... and company! Well, it was magical, dark room .... the blue, bewitching light from the screen .... and the "tannenbaum" There is another very nice guy - hes not bad looking in an adult way .... smokes a distinguishing pipe, and tickled my toes. .... (I manecured them) He sang a bar of "Tannenbaum" with me - nice voice. The shows were pretty good - all Christmasy and nice - Christmas spirity. But we found that at 9:30 there was an hour and a half show. "National Velvet" - Elizabeth Taylor and Mickey Rooney! A story of a race horse. This was one of Elizabeth's first movies. I think she was twelve. And she did a wonderful job She is beautiful - and as a child she was even more beautiful because she did not have that voluptious body then, and she was not singed by scandle yet. Her eyes are the most beautiful I have ever seen - so glowing and - well, beautiful. It was late when this was finished, and the nurses took us back along a dimmly lighted corridor Goodbye Jimmie Goodbye - until tomorrow afternoon .... P.S. Oh, while eating I was contemplating the problem of how to get J's menu for a souvenir. When the nurse came, I held my breath but she left it where it was on the table. Later, by waving my toes around, I managed to slip it off to the floor. And then it was easy to slip it under my stretcher mattress afterwards. So - now I have it! As well as skads of other junk to remember by. December 29th This will be a sort of "looking back" at the past few days, and everything will be especially scrambled. Remember that red haired, blue eyed, extremely vivacious little man? the "German" who gave me a candy! (the candy that was so awful runny, and I squashed it under the chair .... ) Well, he came to see me yesterday! He was being googled at by the doctor anyway, (private examination, in other words!) and so he wandered into our solarium. When he saw me, he donned his Sunday smile and made a bee-line I had been reading a magasine, and didn't take to kindly to interruptions But he was happy, his red hair was very enthusiasticly curly (as ever) and his blue eyes were, also as usual, scintillatingly blue! (very bouncy, also) I guess he's at least thirty .... He thinks I'm at least 18, or more likely older - how can he?! Anyway, he fished around a little while, and came up with a bag of hard candies - the razzberry kind - and after that, he came up with a string of pearls he said he "found". "For me?" said the bumpkin .... "Yasss " his accent is very obvious and its hard to understand him sometimes So that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship! I was curious - so I asked him "Do you speak another language? German?" .... "Not German, Arabic" "Arabic! Are you Arabian?" "Yaass .... " "I wouldn't have known it .... .... I thought Arabians had black hair! .... and slanty eyes .... !" "Oh, my brothers and sisters have!" So I guess he must be English-Arabian. Of course I was very interested! When he wrote my name down in his adress book, he wrote it in some queer quigily letters Arabic? I thought it must have been, so I asked him to write the Arabic alphabet for me .... So I did! And I still have the paper It goes like this: reading from right to left, naturlly. 29 letters! He told me some about the land he came from. He'd seen Jerusalem, Bethlehem .... Iraq .... and his home town was Beirut He'd owned farms there, and did fruit gardening .... trouble was, I didn't hear-understand half he said. He now owns a couple of thousand mink in La La Biche (I asked him if he knew Jimmy - he said, sure). And according to him, hes well stocked financially How much of it is just plain hot air, I don't know .... He asked me if I had money .... "I give you some" .... I said I had. He started digging in his pockets .... , I said, not very loudly "I couldn't take any money from you .... " He said "Oh no! I just getting me handkerchief .... ha! Ha!" and he waved an enormous white one as proof. He was going to take me down to coffee, but I "had to go back to my room" .... for some reason I didn't want to go with him .... Oh yes .... when he said he'd take me travelling (I had mentioned that I'd love to) naturally I laughed .... he said "don't laugh!" evidently, he's quite serious! Romeo (alias George) has left me quite a bit, alone lately .... I have an idea why .... I was pretty stoney and so icy .... br-r-r-r-! But yesterday, I was on a sofa reading a magazine, he and his wheelchair planted themselves firmly in front of me. I didn't even look at him but he sat and stared and stared and sat for a full ten minutes Then he said "Where'd your boyfriend gone to?" I hadn't realized Jimmy was gone .... "Which one?" said I .. "the fat one?" "the fat one?" "No! the one across the hall from me! That you ate supper with .... " "Oh, Jimmy .... ! I dunno' where he's gone. Musta' went back to his room .... " And that was that! (Who am I kidding?) I realize more and more every day what a character Mrs Tompson is: Whee! This morning, Lawrence the floor washer (and a friend of mine) was walking by. Mrs Tompson sang out "Hell-o dear!" He stepped inside "What?" he said "Oh-h-h, .... it's a beautiful day isn't it?!" I colapsed, Mrs Tompson roared and shuddered, Lawrence giggled. "Y'know, I kinda' heard what you said" he said! Hes some guy too! A mild, friendly, dog always waiting for a little pat on the head could be his twin "frere" She is a French-Indian, has toasty skin, lots of deep sags in her face, button-bright black eyes, and frizzy black hair She can be grumpy, she swears too much, her language is vulgar she comits the unpardonable sin of critisizing my favourite nurses .... but she can be oh-so-jolly and frivolous (!), even! she always says "Oh, thankyou my darling" when some one brings her a dinner tray. And when asked how she is, her standard reply is "Just swell, thankyou!" Doreen is really a big person. physically, shes small, her legs are shrunk way down, and she'll never be able to walk. But she and her wheelchair roam around every where, and she knows nearly everybodys name. She's a lot braver than I am. Altho' I know her operation is probably a lot more painful than mine, she hasn't cryed yet and I bawled 3 times! December 30th More scrambled events - they won't be in order, but they will be m-m! Last night, I went to a show with Jimmie! (I better explain my policy - this is roughly it - I don't go to shows at home not because I have any personal convictions against it, but because of the people I would hurt if I did - y'see?) A bunch of men from 46 and 47 were on their way down to the Mewburn, when I passed them - they were talking to a nurse - and likity-split I made a decision. I popped into a wheel chair and way we went! We had to do some real careful pakaging at every elevater because there were three wheel chairs and a couple of guys walking. I was the only female! (that happens so often! All the other non-males are too sleepy, but I don't mind even un petite morceau!) We zipped down to the tunnel - I had been racing Jimmy (incidentally J was up in a wheel chair for the first time yesterday) And then the tunnel! It's not too big, but its always slanting some way or other. its not dank or dark the way it should be to be truly romantic - but it was fun gliding downhill as fast as we could, and then chugging and puffing back up. I sat beside Jimmy right in the very back. The lights dimmed - the name flashed on - "The Deep Six" starring Alan Ladd. It was the story of an inner conflict of a man - the war between a Quaker background and the man's instinct for violence. It was too bloody - when you think of the Japanese our boys killed in the last war, as enemys, and not human - it wouldn't matter so much, but every one of them was an immortal soul, and I do believe in hell .... During the show, had to lean sideways to see around a lady's head - so natur'ly I leaned Sal-ways. I had a feeling he leaned just a little too. He looked paler and thinner than he did before, and smaller. Hes ticklish too. We bumped elbows once, and when I was leaning over to see his wristwatch, we bumped our heads. Just a little contact - I felt like holding hands, and sorta' made myself "available", (not the way it sounds like!) but he's still too bashful. I have a feeling he hasn't had much experience with dames, which is all the better. A couple of dahling Italians, terrif cute, came to see him while he was there. They just stood behind him, chatted with him and looked at me. Ho-hum! When they left, the cutest one patted his shoulder and said somethin' about that he should be real careful of the girls! (he said he would) I think I'm goin' down there again with him tomorrow - a bingo game or something! Love his company! And yesterday a few more happenings. I saw a glimpse of a familiar face going by and a dainty feminine voice exclaimed "Oh, there she is!" Mr and Mrs Mann. What a surprise! And chocolates, too! They couldn't stay long, so we chatted some - I, as usual, was somewhat of a conversationary flop - but we managed. Mrs Mann is a very gracious persona and Mr Mann is a wonderful guy - and I like all the little "men" too - 'specially Tommy! After they left, I just sashayed down to the sunroom - when two guys came down the hall. They approached, I side stepped to get out of the way - "Could you tell me where Miss Epp is?" said the red head .... "I-I'm her!" said goofy. He handed over a white package, with a thing in a bag underneath. And a devotional book under that. From Mr Dyck Chocolates! And a Connie Blair book (the devotional book was from Abe - the brother who brought it - hes very devout) With that - a sort of stiff little note - to formal to be very nice, but at the bottom, under the caption "keep smiling" he'd scribbled a terrible gargoyl! Inside the fly leaf he wrote "from your teacher and friend, Peter Dyck" I wrote a thank you letter right after, but I haven't mailed it yet. By the way, Tom - who has gotten to the teasing stage of palship - calls me "snookums" - he's awfully cute even if he is engaged. He calls Barb his "war manager." The pipe smoking guy is a friend of mine now, too. we teaze each other a lot - Come to think of it, 'most everybody is a friend of mine here. It's a wonderful feeling! December 30 I just made a friend - a kindred spirit - from a most unusual source! She is from Station fourteen, psychiatric ward! She tried to kill herself .... But considering, she is as balanced as I'd ever expect anyone to be .... Her name is Elizabeth, - Nicky she is very talented - she had a year scholarship at the Banff school of fine Arts .... she skipped grades five and seven .... she draws, swims, plays jazz piano, sings beautifully .... has a magnetic personality that attracts like flypaper .... a natural knack for talking to people .... a certain amount of money .... a record player and lots of records .... radio .... clothes .... but the personality the most important. I saw the elevator thing light up at "D" for deck .... I was curious so I went right up .... There she was .... I walked over to the window of the little cabaña up there .... She asked me to sit down, and it wasn't very long before we were telling each other things we'd never told anyone else .... It was quite an experience .... after that we've been practically inseperable. I met her Grandmother, who was nice, and who told me I was very wise and very mature .... !! That top roof cupola of ours is destingned to be a regular rendezvous (prob'ly spelled wrong) I may be seeing quite a lot of her - We met a most perfect skeleton in a cubby hole downstairs. No qualms - We had a Coke and a Pepsi - on her - she, altho' she looks about, and acts as well as talks - about 18 .... she is actually 15 .... physically, in real years .... but otherwise, she is much older - she's gone through a lot more than I have .... Really, both of us are older than we really are - which does sound queer, but is not as queer as it sounds And I'm talking in circles .... She told me a lot of things in confidence I think it does her more good to be able to talk about things and be listened to - than anything else. People are the most facinating things there are - honest! Among the things we talked about were: religon, .... morals .... handicaps (mine and hers) .... emotions .... family .... and real intimate, basic feelings . Pretty formidable for someone I only met today .... Sometimes I think - wouldn't it be nice if I could talk that way to anyone? - but then I reconsider - I honestly wouldn't want to give that much of myself away very often - It would be (pardonez-moi) sacerlidge (SW) in a way She knows everybody - but everybody - and a lot about everything too - I'm glad I found her - I really was mortifyed this afternoon - I was walkin' along on my sticks beside them - when - whoosh!, I slid down, and my skirt pin popped! So I sat on the floor, with my skirt sliding off - people looking at me, and giggling! [undated letter] Dear People, Yeah, I'm enjoying myself. Thanks for the apple pieces n'stuff. Operation - was sick for two days. Now I'm up on a stretcher. I think I'm going to manage financially, as I have $4.75 left. I will need $2.50 for the bus from Valleyview to Grande Prairie. However if I'm on crutches I won't be able to carry the suitcase the 3 blocks I will have to walk to the bus, so I'll have to take a taxi. But with my dollar I should be able to manage. Right at the vvery top of the hospital there is a huge sun-deck, and just where the elevator comes up there's a wee tiny room. Hardly anyone ever goes up there in winter so it's very quiet. I discovered Nicky up there yesterday, and it's an ideal place for talking 'cause it's gott a view and exactly two chairs. Nicky (short for Nicola) is in a psychiatric ward because of a nervous breakdown and attempted suicide. She is in grade 12 (correspondence) because of skipping two grades - had a summer scholarship to the Banff School of Fine Arts. Piano - ballet - art - singing - guitar. The suicide attempt was because of her stepfather and I don't think she's making things up because her grandma, who I met yesterday, seems to verify it. My stitches come out sometime next week. After that it won't be long enough to stay here. Love,
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