Sept 30, 1966
Last fall was a nothing, a splurge of time. Reorientation was necessary.
The forget me nots in Mom's flower bed bloomed until Dec 1st being a
powerful reminder of the past.
My future is uncertain. Presently I'm considering purchasing a large
tract of land which will nail me down tight for 9 yrs.
P.S. Write me if you are married, write me in any case.
P.S. I bet I'll marry before you, why? I feel a need for someone to bring
me my slippers and fuss over me.
P.S. By now you've guessed my mood, now to seal and mail this letter
before I change my mind.
Sept 11, 1966
Very dearest Ellie
Today is the beginning of the fall rains and whether that accounts for
the lump in my throat, cannot be ascertained.
The end of a sad year.
Financially I'm successfull, emotionally and spiritually a sad washout.
This letter now is like a period on sentence. New ones may be written
and although our paths may never meet again, the bittersweet us will always
remain in my memory. Many times it's very painful to assess how large or
small my soul is
Both our lives are incredible. Yours can be detected easily, because
your turbulence is apparent on the surface. Mine is very deep and buried.
I'm saving all your letters and hope we can keep track of each other
through our separate paths.
I made a friend (25 years old) since last December we hunt together etc.
Hes a draftsman.
Dec 22, 1966
Perhaps you remember my mention of a new fellow friend. He disappeared
this fall, I pretty well found him single handedly - plane, walking, looking
- he drowned. To observe death after 20 days in water - I know now I saw
myself.
The days since then have been a blur. Houseman said; "Smart lad
to slip betimes away". My friend appeared to me in a dream, real, he
talked to me - it was over before I could ask questions.
One does not require a reason to live - I have a reason to die. Dec 20
a car hit the implement head on that I was towing only missing the tractor
because I swerved aside. Being a millisecond away from 50 MPH collison on
an open tractor didn't scare me - only a pondering if I'd have met my friend.
Life is good to me, but success does not bring satisfaction. The strife
and direction toward a goal is concrete not the goal.
When you learn the formula how to cease "thinking" rush it
to me. I practice every day.
He gives us our hearts desire and leaves us empty.
I've been dabbling with cooking.
[about March] 1967
Dear Epps;
I met grandpa Konrad in Clearbrook recently, and shook his hand, from
what he spoke, he is still interested in "life around him".
Our country is vaulting into a social state very rapidly
Old age security tax, Canada pension plan, unemployment insurance for
all farm help beginning April 1st (compulsory) T4 slips for every hired
hand on the farm who earns more than 50 cents. Perhaps communism would ease
the problem by reducing us to equal poverty, and state servants. I do think
the world is rushing toward communism because we have too much materialism.
What we really need is a great land war that would wake up N.A. and mature
our young people. In our time the most ludicrous situation in my estimation
is the current trend of young people 15-25 years of age having a solution
and knowing how to run their country. These people have great material benifits;
for the most part they have not earned them. They have not contributed to
our country yet experienced receivers of wealth in the form of excellent
education, and recreation feel they can run a country. The voting
age should be lowered to 18 they chant - that would be like allowing irresponsible
12 yr olds to own and drive cars. Ie: every privilege must be preceded by
experience and proof of responsibility. blah it's hopeless, and I doubt
if the free world will exist beyond 1975.
The full orchestra of frogs play their mating concerto nightly. Did you
know only male frogs croak?, and that only to attract lady frogs, (in spring
that is) and once mating is completed that particular male ceases to croak.
I'm to be married April 22.
[undated]
Yes Ellie, your mother did as I expected.
Tried to write you, but couldnt put the thoughts on paper.
Getting Frosts poems from you made me happy as well as a little guilty
at the cost you went to - considering the penury you live in. Most of all
the thought ..... from you
Met your grandpa Konrad in Clearbrook - he accepted my hand shake with
a dubious look. Theres autumn in his eyes.
Do not know how to balance some of the inner accounts perhaps I'll close
doors to certain rooms.
Lets keep in touch a little - I'm terribly interested in keeping track
of you. Am keeping those letters!
God Ive kept a grip on myself till now even though I thought life wasn't
fair.
I'm listening to Tchiakovsky.
Nov 20, 1967
Dear Epps and company;
Married life is quite a shock after being single and free for so long.
We rent a two room house for $35 per month unfurnished. It has a 3rd room
but it's used to store furniture from the 1890 - 1920 era. No running water
here, and we heat with wood. It's a lot of fun to cut wood and pile it.
We had an excellent crop, but low prices forced me to get a job after
the crop. Its hard to struggle to own something, at the moment we cannot
build a house and pay for our property at the same time.
Sharon is a brunette 5'9" 132 lbs we're married
Frank & Sharon
April 12, 68
A good Friday is over, it had a little hail some sun, plenty of trilliums
on our property. Sharon and I worked all day, stacking brush and burning
on the site where our own yard and house will be.
Ive got a dog, a pure golden lab female. She is hyper intelligent.
Fruit trees are nearly all blooming already, there should be a good peach
crop. Ah the beautiful valley and province.
We cannot afford any babies yet, but hope to have one about one year
from now.
Since Sharon and I got married we only attend church when the mood prevails
on both of us.
We keep in touch with Marvin and his wife. They have two little girls.
Too bad you changed your mind over serving man kind. I have no patience
with the dregs of society my self, but some one should have.
I suppose by now you know as well as I do that the questions and changing
values that assail one every year increase and do not dissolve at all.
You want your vocation to consume you, good! There is not much other
pt. to life if what one does is not all inclusive of ones self.
Im tired.
Frank.
April 19 1970
Ellie
How are you, it's been oceans of time since we last saw each other. Time
is not a tangible item, but it separates us all!
Spring is here in force, trees all green.
Our nearest neighbour is a quarter mile away! Since I finished our house
far enough to live in (Dec 12).
Mar 6 reminds me of you every year.
How is your ambition of film director coming? Good idea dropping social
work!
We had a baby girl. 6 lb 9 oz all systems go, born Jan 5 1970. Some reddish
hair and looks like me.
Very happy to hear from your mother even sparsely, who has fulfilled
her dream.
Life has been good to me - the house is 1000 sq ft with full basement,
the house is planned so a couple of bedrooms in case we have a big? family.
I still kept the wood stove.
One has to doubt the wisdom of having any children the way our environment
is fading into nothing.
Frank
P.S. As a parting shot, when Sharon and I were shaking hands of the wellwishers
just after our wedding, the only wish I remember was bon voyage from my
pastor. Bon voyage to you too!
975 Bradner Rd, RR2 Aldergrove B.C., January 13 1971
The letter of May 1970 came on a very sunny day, a day on which I had
a crew of fellows picking rocks onto my dump truck. I went by the mail box
with each full load, and stopped for the mail at about 10 AM. My pulse went
up about 5 pts but I didn't open it until I dumped the load and got back
to the friend. I opened and as I read, smoked a very slow cigarette.
I guess our house has the stamp of me on it, but eccentric, no. We have
some Douglas fir near the house, the highest tree being 90'.
Good to hear you have sorted out your life. I haven't even begun to.
Sharon had a fantabulous garden everything grew super big and no weeds
grew.
We can see Mt Baker from our living room window, and from our kitchen
window where we eat breakfast we can see several large mountains to the
north. From the same window I saw 2 coyotes walk past the garden 250' from
the house at 7:30 AM (about April).
Coyotes howl here at least once a week, in full concert.
Sharon does my bookkeeping, and gives me some help in the summers, but
has not worked at a job since 1968.
Little Sarah has made us very happy. We'll have another one about the
1st week in March.
Thank you very much for the card, we're glad you and baby are fine -
Sharon says it's exhilerating to have a baby, and no reason for fear.
When your postcard came I was lost in thought and Sharon kind of needled
me and asked me if I didn't wish it had been my child, I had to admit the
wee thought was there.
Enclosed is a lb note for anything little you might need.
You know, success does not bring happiness, and age or experience do
not answer the eternal questions.
The last two years have been like heady wine for us life wise and business
wise but
Glad all's well
P.S. If you're ever in the valley, phone, we all would like to see you
all.
March 7, 1971
Ellie
You will likely get two letters simultaneously because of the mail strike.
We have a son! Born March 5, 5:40 AM. Black hair, 8 lbs - Seth Jacob Frank.
We had quite a winter here much snow, and below freezing temp. No record
breaking cold snaps. Our house has been very comfortable all through the
cold.
I am batching for a few days.
Things have been good for me the last few years, however I am less sure
of life and its purpose and meaning than ever before in my life. Perhaps
we do not require reason or meaning. Some people are content with patterns
and habits - I'm not one of them.
The mountains are still here around the Fraser Valley, and I still love
this valley, and would leave it with reluctance.
Canada's economic tenor is poorer than I've ever seen it, since I became
aware of economics about 15 years ago.
Happy birthday yesterday.
Last summer I had some contact with the present hippy culture. I understand
[?] them because almost coincidental with their growth came my apathy and
lack of goal. Someone said it "Where there is no vison the people perish."
What we require to live and be happy and what we are led to believe we need
are not the same. Why is there that look of desperation on people's faces?
I hope you've retained enthusiasm, being a doer, and your just measure
of happiness. I hope you are well - you means yourself, your baby, your
baby's father.
We have enough land (62 acres) to raise our two kids on, some of it is
very hilly, and will never be cleared of trees - a small corner of adventure
for little people.
I have learned to like tea.
My boy looks normal. I was so happy I had a little cry of joy.
I've been handing out "It's a boy" cigars.
David (my brother) wanted to celebrate so I obliged him but he disappointed
me by passing out after only 4 1/2 hrs. I put him to bed and carried on
alone. Paid for it for two days, but was awake enough to attend a dispersal
auction and buy a piece of machinery for a third the market value.
My father and Sharon's fathers' buttons were very nearly popping off
their shirts.
There's more to say, but that's about it outside of ideas and they don't
count for much.
Frank
P.S. We have a few coyotes around that frequently howl. I see them early
mornings, and have identified two different pairs of them.
Feb 15, 1974
Dear Ellie (and Luke)
Thank you for your letter and also your more recent photo card of Luke.
Your calling me "träuherzig," your German is faulty no
umlaut in that word and your judgment is suspect. I am now matter of fact
in my approach to life and people, and just wary enough to survive.
We have had very good times here on our farm, hard work lots of love
and fantastic luck. Berries (rasps) are still our livelihood however our
hobbies interest us the most. Twelve peach trees give us sweet juicy fruit
every fall and fourteen hives of bees yield pleasure and honey galore, cap
that with about one month of hunting. Sharon makes beeswax candles, sews
with a top of the line Elna and collects stamps. Some of the old rare Canadian
stamps are dear!'
We do not have a heavy social life, raise our children with pleasure
and attend chapel when we feel spiritually hungry - we are both renegades.
Our house is large and comfortably modern but not haughty.
I heat our whole house with wood.
I weigh 153 lbs just like when you knew me.
Sharon's going to bring me another tad early in May.
I do not think that I shall ever see a poem lovely as a tree We have
tall fir around our house the highest being about 90'.
We have one 400' row of strawberries.
Right now I'm busy with spring work on the land and also preparing to
open a gravel business. We were lucky to be forced 7 years ago to buy marginal
farm land which is now worth a small fortune because of the gravel under
it. Naturally it is the population here which makes land and blding materials
worth more.
Our life has given us varied experience, especially in our retail vegetable
business where we met many thousands of people. Last winter we spent some
time in southern USA. We went in an oldish bus that was camperized. People
took us for hippies, my beard and renegade appearance opened new horizons
for us.
I walked on the mountain tops with George Buhler on hunting trips - backpack
affairs - also lingered in the valleys. The highest peaks are for me!
My children always find dad's got the time for them - kinda makes up
for what I missed out on.
Privacy? Yes! 57 acres of it in the midst of too many people. People
or no I go deep into myself for it.
Connections do have two ends, and I'd be lying to say I didn't sometimes
see you
Sharon's sister is a school teacher; in her apartment she has a picture
of a tree with a philosopher's thought on love beside it. Do not think you
can guide the course of love for love if it finds you worthy will change
your course.
Her marriage failed in its 2nd year I guess seeing this thought hitches
at my heart too.
January last we went to Harrison hot springs for the day's swimming.
Besides eating out which resulted in many sprints to bathroom over a period
of days (food poisoning I guess) we had a great time teaching the kids to
love water. Grandpa and Grandma Konrad were there too, and even my beard
and hair didn't thwart Grandpa Konrad from fixing his I know all about
you eyes on me and compelling me willingly to greet him and chat with
them both. Later Grandma told me about you Luke and Roy and I allowed her
the pleasure of a complete Epp sibling run down even though its substance
was known to me before hand.
The future belongs to Canada!!!! You come from the north but you left
it, maybe you'll return sometime. Only the very hardy are worthy of that
frozen land. Some days I'm almost ready to go - where you can walk on the
water if you wait til the winter time.
I've grown apart from my own siblings and parents too.
We could have retired 3 years ago maybe we will yet, to a homestead far
north. Dave married a small town girl from Manitoba. She was a basketball
star there. They are expecting #1 child in June or so. Among her favorite
pursuits is tearing apart her husband's siblings.
Margaret is married to a happy go lucky French Canadian, they have two
children expecting the third in June or July.
Among all the happiness and joy in my life there are some very sad painful
things. My best friends have been older men. Two of my dear friends died
in 1973. They taught me much alive and in death remind me that at 33 there
isn't that much time left - that's sad. I see Seth at play, I'll live on
through him.
The saddest things are ruined lives eg emotionally disturbed children
coming from broken homes.
This is a long letter, here's to you and Luke.
As always,
Frank
[undated]
Dear Ellie and Luke
Almost slipped and wrote dearest.
Firstly you must know we have another son May 6 his name is Stephan Michael
and he looks like me. I was with Sharon the whole birth it was wonderful!
I hope you are all well and happy.
The strawberries are almost ready to bloom but it will not quit raining
since about February.
We are now selling gravel from our property easier money I have never
had, however there is a price for everything. In our case we have lost 3
out of four neighbours as friends. When you do well jealousy and hate sets
in.
Too busy to go grizzly bear hunting this May. George Buhler and I will
go sheep hunting in August tho.
Pottery, do you use a wheel? Might appeal to me.
Marriage can work, even if you're solitary, but marriage is a relationship
that works best in a complementary fashion. It has no room for rivalry and
many other divisive things. I have a great need for aloneness which Sharon
gives me generously 33 days worth of hunting in 1974. On the other hand
Sharon has inner needs too and while I can't give her weeks of solitude
she gets hers one evening or afternoon at a time, so even snatches are enough
to recharge the soul.
Seth can still snuggle on my lap but like Luke I guess it won't be that
much longer.
Bon Voyage
Your truly
Frank
back to frank after his life index page
|