is it over am i alone
am i not going to be a person anymore
the many parts, the mass of parts, as angled
lines, which if i cd push thru in that
intensity, wd be aligned so an outstanding knowledge wd be there,
the material seemed about to crystallize beyond myself
was a time in which there might be choice, i might take
the step and be out into the dimensions
i want to make, i saw i had, a submersion piece
all the ideas the slant of ..
the not-knowing in that molecule broth
what's its relation to the sense of power-
not -struggling but, -usedness:
the sense of both watching vulnerably to get a magic working of the broth,
& suspecting it is simply, or 'also'
a vulnerability to the feeding needs of everyone i'm in bond with.
not knowing how to tell. the two might be the same.
so deep in speculation, feeling it a crazedness maybe,
is this what artists do, is it what performance is?
i was finding i cd read code by just taking metaphors straight
- then what's
the agreement that keeps it hidden -
a common dread that covers over spots in the exchange -
or is in metaphor a distractor