field & field 10 field notes ellie epp

- 9



hello                 is it over          am i alone             am i not going to be a person anymore



the many parts,   the mass of parts,   as angled lines,       which if i cd push thru in that intensity,   wd be aligned so an outstanding knowledge wd be there,      across kinds



the material seemed about to crystallize beyond myself

            it was a time in which there might be choice,    i might take the step and be out into the dimensions



i want to make,  i saw i had, a submersion piece                   all the ideas the slant of ..




the not-knowing in that molecule broth           -           broth                -                       what's its relation to the sense of power-           not -struggling but,         -usedness:              power-matching

                                   the sense of both watching vulnerably to get a magic working of the broth, & suspecting it is simply,    or 'also'       a vulnerability to the feeding needs of everyone i'm in bond with.         not knowing how to tell.   the two might be the same.   so deep in speculation,    feeling it a crazedness maybe,           is this what artists do, is it what performance is?




i was finding i cd read code by just taking metaphors straight          -           then what's the agreement that keeps it hidden     -                       a common dread that covers over spots in the exchange -                       or is in metaphor a distractor