field & field 9 field notes ellie epp

- 8



standing in the lane at the bottom of the translucent sea


                       standing on the lane with dry grass next to the track


            standing far, away, under the moon,                         around the moon is light as if on a surface the height of air             oh the crystal air                     amneon



is the star heat                        is the star the baby



                      'it's in my body,   i feel myself dying,

i have to struggle to be alive'

                       'i talk to myself.  i find a way to where there isn't fear'



when i see metaphor        can i see the necessity of metaphor             can i see what metaphor is



the body in water, which reads the tremors' shapes


sources by straight lines




then,    as if,    situated in there,    i shd be able to feel my way out into any knowledge      -      i mean thru the perspective

           -           something        -           it's like a flip          -           i can't see it     -           it's a passing or peripheral shape, it's a logic shape,



from any two points, establish           -

                       then having seen in,   what?

                                   beyond the computation is again having been born,

& in a world,   and so



if i just keep situating myself in the moment of having been born



is metaphor always    -                       is the nature of metaphor    -

wondering what is the metaphoring mind that it can say without knowing               it goes into an image without noticing the shift



i am finding what it is   from here,   but not yet,   what anything is,   from it              that's my doubt


i've read the code but i'm not more alert



what's the relation of this coming through to the new attention



the slide of luke newborn, that i'd never seen the pain of

now i wanted to just pick him up and hold him