field & field 8 field notes ellie epp


- 7

 

 

long neon dusks                      our elbows on windowsills                we're looking down on streets

 

the moon's curve is pointing

grey        dust        pink        blue

pink gathering & will be more intense

yellow gathering

                                   mor                              what color is the sky?

 

to be a moth      or bird      in that color      which is here too among the roofs

 

 

will you be my human friend again & see whether what was made can still work?      all along there was one making another one                  deciding,     finding,     pulling out the rule,      working in silence making language,   so i could     as language    make you back

working a field in silence        .i mean the field all of the field in its silent way works

 

the spatial & dark parts

 

 

what's the other          -

one who has begun    -           i have  -           in this one different     -           and again the same

 

moon is the image of               & that no one saw it was.

 

shows the terminator where at this dusk we are

 

it's white, in color

                                               (grey goosewing        cloud

 

from showing her reckoning of repetition in the larger & smaller parts.            the girl with the doll

 

reflected          does it look like that

            they were so long not seeing

what the moon is        -

          'in the old days

they must have known about that'      -           was what?     -           upstairs feet in front of the electric heater               -           was that she felt the gaze reflected in the mirror

 

 

more vulnerable to losing herself, & she thinks it may have to do with the wiring        either a biological give-over mechanism   ('one flesh')         or from seeing her mother

 

 

what is it you want passed on?

sometimes when i am alone i am quite happy

 

she insists she's waiting,    she's in the vanguard,    believing that what she is must find its company further down the line

 

when she says so,   i feel an opening into a possible world,     i'm stirred to take a step out of this one,       i don't know how the move would be made

 

 

soft sea-smelling puffs of air

 

the light has steadily changed color

 

what is the motor sound         it is the dark blue laid across the water

 

it's cold

 

is it still at a slow speed

the cardboard when it tips to the light signals metal               returns            makes its way steadily            unpropelled     across the melt of open color

 

 

my womb is interested                                    'i can feel that'

my womb is listening