field & field 7 field notes ellie epp

- 6



the alone i wanted was to have slipped my referents


what's there is not a figure but a few lines & a sense of figure

           then what was that delicate seeing,    already i can't resee it                       who is there when i'm not                  i am the shell of it                               i want to see it

bonnard : to show all one sees on entering a room

birds seemed tossed up out of them                    trees turned up undersilver their


'knowledge is similar to an enclosed but active body of water'


in the garden      cold           under the sumac           roofer's debris laid down in fallen leaves             telling leah this summer's research                 sky says   mom is this like an eclipse?

                     it's an eclipse of the clouds, sky

fear,    the intention cd go to the morning & more firmly on,      you,      anguish,   tuesday,      knowing what to write down,      firmly knowing,      wishing writing down about   not knowing,                     out to     the white light has green leaves shining down from it,      somewhere loving fear,       all the stirring,         wind down thru,

back room work          green notebook           looking for local country notes      what i find is descriptions of life before birth                   that's all i was collecting         ie    having left it,  the country i left     is that.              it compiled structure

the equations,   conversions,   the math i cd read fr how,   if i've solved them,   the clues are distorted


her knowing geometry is from the experience of growth


the way it's looking like a closed system

           a fright as if by following myself w/o resistance      as i have been      the method & material found in the same way     w/o feeling 'will'         i have found my way into a closed universe

          immediate answer was that the lever is here,    the carat of pressure in the attention making the sentence