winter 5

winter notes 

ellie epp

4.

 

 

while we were talking the smoke line streaked past out the window and around the bend

 

the flood of her voyaging love

 

the space that opened before her inside the space between herself and her surroundings

 

 

i m going to leave as i have before, thinking it s impossible           he reaches his arm partway           don t go            behind him I see his floor open           he s putting in pipes

 

the quality of hallucination     midrif lit

 

the wrecked boat & green & black bits that have been together near luke's door

 

simultaneous grids. that is. minds of reference

 

the quality of hallucination           something from my guests, who none of them look volatilized, rather, heavier

     `the spirit jumped me'

 

she s thin in a wide frame

right eye wide    left eye narrow       blue

wrist & hand forgotten in a beautiful shape

wide feet       wide shoulders       thin joint to the arm

`your mountain legs'           bright hair circuits across the thigh

 

 

he says, even after he is married,   it,   my work,   is my soul

 

 

the relation of a cream-colored room & a piece of paper

 

 

at 6 in the dark           frozen grass           stars in clearly drawn emblems

 

 

small overhead a pickup with a yellow fluttering canopy flies east

 

 

it starts to rain among the poplars

 

 

sorry I m awake and can t read on

 

 

wake before five with an ache in the solar            work in different ways to open it thru           the ache has random thoughts         is it grief etc          open legs & leave them that way            longer breaths        open mouth           put hands up and try to magnetize them, it s a clumsy paw difficult to fill

 

there s a sill raised an inch

beyond the window an autumn sky saturated blue

in front of it the outer edge of a bundle of leaves whose shape implies the shape of the rest, and of its vase, the outdoors it was gathered in;          whose gold yellow is giving off a glow beyond itself

 

at the bottom edge   -   i don t see this now but remember   -   some square of a brilliant white curtain

 

it went on & I was out in the snow seeing tracks,   beside me,   hearing the written voice commentary,   and then a light creature running across the trail                each pawpress has pushed up beside it a snow shape like a small tip-pointed leaf,   japanese maple           that s its particular mark

 

 

`soften the body for beautiful dreams'

 

 

planetarium. how she looks in bright hair & coat

 

lying back with luke showing off between us

under clouds & music       excited to be there together

           the movement of microscopic life in jumps of the whole colony

bus,   group home kids,   streets,   stars in murk

cocoa,   roy,   candle,   she sits on the chair

 

 

depression & war, having to work at jobs

 

 

 

goodbye brightface