field & field index field notes ellie epp


- 11

 

 

lentils. there may be no money next week either

 

 

the garden & oh the russian winter garden                the table,    the red withes,   dark red,    the thin shadow of the water poplars standing right across to the wall                     the order & being of the garden now that it has grove   table    bench    & winter light

           the water is clear black from leaves fallen in             more

           the garden itself what it wasn't before          it is an estate & time                thin light & shade      height of the trees        few stiff large leaves swinging      the ground scatter black & yellow that makes the woods, the creek

 

 

my japanese

 

 

not about but from

 

i have been with you as if you were a room

 

 

3 weeks.  the light       steady             wave               on the stone

i miss you                    (i'm here)                     are you really

(gather it)                    but i will                       (yes you must)

 

 

it's very dark               sunday

the rain from one shingle to the next

 

 

when i am in the considering a thing to describe is when i'm mediumistic                 -            what does it mean that attention looks at one thing to get a message about another            -           mediumistic in that tiny way    -           esp when the message may be one i cd have had direct, it is ordinary enough                  -                                   is it a developed doubling                 more than in earlier days of having an 'outer' life       -

 

          in which the fine shade came as an angling of a word         -

 

 

what do i want                        -           i don't want it to be a marginal life       -          

i don't want to be a stupid spirit