time remaining 11 part 1 - 2022 january-march  work & days: a lifetime journal project

January 1 2022

I was living in an abandoned farmhouse far enough from the road so there were no lights at night. The front verandah looked east over open fields but the side door, the kitchen door, looked onto a shelterbelt wall of spruce trees planted close enough so a squirrel could run along the row without touching the ground. In the south-facing space between the kitchen's porch and these trees I'd planted a small garden and paved a little courtyard with field stones. In August I dragged a cot onto this sheltered court and would sometimes sleep outside.
 
I'd been reading Meister Eckhart, reading the way I did then, foraging for scraps in which I could feel something of my own that I couldn't know directly.
 
-
 
Light the lamp, set it on the porch rail. Grass, nettle, the color of gas lantern light - breath steams - moths rapid - webs. A line of web shining between me and the lamp, spider went up between two stars in the Dipper's handle.
 
Continuous dark sound of leaves. One grass blade scraping another.
 
On my back looking up, roof corner and edge and then the distance.
Milky Way overhead.
 
Suddenly I realize. I'm seeing out not up, I'm held firm to earth's curve upright looking out.
And it's not dark, it's daylight out there.
 
swing yourself up to it, into the void
 
Not constellations, bearings.
 
I'm seeing how far I can see.
 
Each star a different past. I saw Eternity the other night -
 
was seen to meditate in a solemn and expanded time set within a human's time and vision
 
Like a great ring of pure and endless Light - now I understand, he really saw the ring.
 
Merritt January 2022, Valhalla Lake August 1979

I've almost got it I think. No I've got it a bit more readable but I don't have it at all. It has to begin on the ground and open suddenly to vastness. It was remarkable, a joyful wonder, I faced the Universe. I met the Universe. I discovered I could. Would anyone be able to feel that in what I wrote?

That isn't what happened to Shimamura. The Milky Way poured into him Kawabata says. I did see it in what he wrote, dazzling white overhead. I saw the clear black air. But Shimamura wasn't there alone with it. "As he caught his footing his head fell back and the Milky Way flowed down inside him with a roar." I'm not sure Kawabata wasn't meaning to say he died at that moment.

I'm thinking of the Palm Springs meeting here. The meetings there have been.

2

The sun is spent
 
The world's whole sap is sunk;

These white cold days the corner is dead quiet.

From dull privations, and lean emptiness
 
But I am none; nor will my sun renew.

The Metaphysicals are too fancy for me. Poets write good lines but I don't want the admired armatures they set them in.

-

Day 1 Patch had small twitches I noticed once in a while. Day 2 She coughed hard occasionally and had the same small spasms continuously, seemed to have a fever, lay in my arms for long times. Day 3 she was quiet but not coughing or twitching. She didn't stop eating on any of these days. Day 4, today, wasn't as cold and she wanted to go out briefly, mostly ignored me. Meantime my blood pressure shot up and has settled again. It was an anguish thinking her sick.

-

Today it's warmer than it was, though there's fresh snow on the porch, so when I opened the door for her this morning Patch did step out. Later she slipped in quietly and I stood in the doorway looking at the garden. I could only see one set of her prints. They showed all the way up the path but how did she come back? It was as if she had levitated. Tonight she asked again to go out and I watched her stepping carefully across the porch and down the steps into deeper snow further on. She'd go slowly and stop and sniff, pause staring toward the street. I closed the door to watch her through its pane. After a while she turned to come back and I saw her stepping with perfect exactness into her own prints.

3

With Jam the misery of gender. I saw her, wanted to see her, as an instance of female brilliance possible to me. I liked her pink silk quilt, her good pots. With Tom there were miseries but not that one. I was comfortably at war with his male piggishness, had to keep proving women were not the supportive cast he wanted them to be, but I never felt a gender crookedness in him, we were what we were, there wasn't gaslighting spite.

The kernel that someone would be willing to be the lower order memory and organizer, in order to be with your quality of higher order language.

I had to organize and remember for both of them but I felt Jam's male pose was a status grab. Lazy Tom borrowed status, didn't steal it.

4

I posted louie's party. What about it. The time it was, a good time we'd made together though I wasn't thinking of it that way. I'd given it her place - that was me - and she had given it the unusual people she'd found and kept.

I've just sighed saying to myself that when she gave up her place she gave up me. I gave her a marvelous thing and I gave it very freely, for the sake of the creation it could be and was. It gave her a lot socially. Meantime I lived in a relative dump and didn't mind because I was making a marvelous thing of another kind. - None of that is told in the story of Louie's party but I've found it now by asking.

- Sometimes I glimpse a gentle puzzled forbearance in the way I was with Louie, that didn't fight as it should have, a native generosity or was it a lame child's uncertainty of worth.

I'm closer now to what I was as a young child in school, outcast and solitary, then by a thin leg, now by both age and deformity. Then it was a light simple sorrow: nobody likes me. Now it's a heavier resignation that says I'm ugly and stupid now, no one wants to know me, but there have been better times.

I should ask more about this.

5

What is my question. What could have been the work and love trajectory if desire hadn't needed the strenuous compromises there were.

In real life there was the smothering conflict with Louie. Do I have to look in the Louie story for conflict. It says yes.

-

Since I've played her bird videos Patch can sit staring at the black monitor as if waiting for birds to come back. When she has been watching them for a while she turns sideways not watching them anymore but listening to their small sounds. I've seen her lie down behind the monitor, which she's never done before.

7

Did I have worse heart symptoms when I was working on Theory's practice because of the work     no
Were they partly reconstruction     yes

Checked, posted and linked TR8 and TR9.

8

I dreamed there was a man who was going away forever. I had seen him off and had gone home to bed, was lying in the dark. Someone came into the room and put his hands on me. It was him. I gasped like a flare of sound. Was watching myself in wonder: I've never felt anyone this much. He was getting his penis into me somehow through my pyjama pants.

-

I've posted theory's practice.doc and am wondering whether that achieved summary is in fact the whole project.

I'm into a hard project I shouldn't let myself be distracted from. Its working title is Theory's practice. I'm working with my journals from 1995-2002 when I was doing two parallel hard things, developing a philosophy of mind as body and dealing with myself in deep love with a man who was a microcosm of patriarchy. Those two tasks were related in a way that I don't think has been described and though the whole story is there in the transcribed and posted journals it is seeming to me it should be set out in a more compact accessible form before I die - I should write a book. I don't know whether I still have the wit and energy and time to do it but if I do I thought there could be a second volume based on my Goddard letters because they demonstrate that deeply feminist struggle's outcomes in relation to many kinds of particular question.
 
There's a huge amount of material to evaluate and sort and make decisions on. Difficulties are how to deal with neurophilosophical technicalities and how to deal with ever-repeated slow emotional processing.
 
-
 
Part 1. A fifty year old woman is hit hard by desire for what she doesn't actually want. She's living in disabling confusing self-contradiction, massively in pain. She understands that emotional debts she has stayed ahead of have come due. She's willing, she takes them on, she has faith in the work and she has three kinds of help but it's long and painful. There are six months in which it takes most of her time, then a second six months in which though that work continues she is at the same time quite easily and as if almost peripherally defining for herself and setting up a fundable PhD project that consolidates her years of private study and that she has already got herself into position to launch.
 
There's a hinge. She performs a ritual.
 
Part 2. She begins her PhD, gets funding, drives to California to work with the best department in her field. There she meets a man who is in some ways her counterpart, who has been struggling in his own contradictions and has come to his own form of commitment. They take each other on. Their previous defenses and accommodations are massively challenged. This goes on for years. There are many shocks and checks. They work through them again and again. In the meantime her work also keeps breaking through. It keeps getting harder but her project widens until it's a new vision of what humans are. She graduates and moves to be with her friend.
 
Part 3. She lives in California and has a teaching job. Shocks and checks with her friend go on but she's lighter in them, she's more at home in the world. Her teaching work draws on both her emotional work and her theoretical work.
 
Part 4. She's getting old, alone again trying to tell the story of parts 1-3 before she dies.
 
Part 5? There's been something else from earlier and all along, a paradisal vision in pictures and writing. She has gathered bits of it but goes on not knowing what to do with them.
 
-
 
I'm constantly tempted to feel that the story is about coming through with Tom when what it is actually about is the ordeal it took to undo the effects of misogyny on my ability to work in the world. It's a vision of central crisis in the very nature of women's being. An inherent conflict.
 
- There's what I was learning about the means of aboutness and there's what I was learning about how to talk to be able to think better and there's what I was learning about how to work with my personal limiting structures to be able to know and do more. Is the whole of Tom subsumed in that one? He was that and something else too, my sample human. Theory's practice. After that so were my students.
 
Merritt July-September 2019

9

Almost no one was willing to recognize that - Rachel and Freya, Freya because I've sent them money I think. Susan rushed into admiration, which made me uneasy as if I'd hurt her. What could I want instead, people saying yes please do this, it's needed. Why couldn't they, all of them -

Can you answer that     yes
Because they haven't done the work     yes
And don't want to     yes
Is that the whole of it     no
Do they think I can't do it     no
Is it accurate     yes
Do you like it     YES
Would Joyce like it     yes

Yesterday in the NYKR online such a good piece on Knausgaard by James Wood. I mean there are a few people in the world writing with really skilled interested balancing attention. I stomped through My struggle but Wood was patient with the tedium to discover its reasons and rewards. I also mean that kind of attention is so rare there can be no hope of it in my hidden corner. But what is my actual worry. Knausgaard has succeeded enormously by being what he is as a contemporary man. How is it different for me. He can be seen as a sample human in a way no woman can, isn't it that? His struggle with notions of masculinity can be taken as essential whereas my struggle with femininity has always to be taken as trying to catch up.

Do you agree with that     yes
Anything you want to say     truth, contemplation, child's, exclusion

Knausgaard is relatable by living, apart from the writer thing, as a man of his time. I can't be relatable because I've stayed marginal both by choice and by placement.

But it's a limitation on success not a limitation on achievement     yes
Always that     yes
Anything you want to add     no
 
Child's exclusion, women's exclusion, in me overlaid always, is that what you mean     yes
Do you mean I exaggerate     no
But exclusion is highly relatable     YES

So: how can energy want to write a book one knows will have to fail.

- In writing that sentence the way attention corrected to make it closer to true. Energy does like to do that.

Should I give up on theory's practice     no
Is this the time to take it up again     yes

Writing is such desperately ethical work.

Should I collect the mentions of little story work from - when?

9

WRITE YOUR BOOK OH MY GOD

excitement not only for the book
but for you and the nature of this work
you in it and
holy shit I've only got a baby understanding
of what this undertaking is like for you
 
like how I'd market your book to the masses and send it to the moon

10

Seeing it's the Lovers card, three terms, love woman, work woman and Temperance/larger self/Joyce/the uncon/writing

Were my heart problems because of the work     no
Transitional     yes

walnuts, raisins, raw cabbage, chopped MacIntoshes, new carrots, flax seed oil, salt

13

Hadn't cleaned since before the flood but today June Andrew came, Squamish from North Van living on the Coldwater Reserve. Kathy is such a loss. Her cheerfulness, her familiarity with the house, with Patch and this chair and the changes in one room after another. She rejoiced with me when I bought the red rug. She mourned Mouse. She's carried home vegetables. She witnessed my will. If I'd had to be in the hospital she would have come for the keys and looked after the Patch. June cleaned things Kathy ignored but we don't know each other.

15

Sitting down to work without tea and my head is flabby. Soft rubber, distaste.

What else is there. 6:55. The corner's lamp on its high pole stands all alone in black space. Below on the street dimly a red pickup facing west, a blue pickup facing east, one garage light and a heap of dirty snow.

Each side of the street a shrinking ridge of muddy snow. It's discouraging.

More sky now, dark blue lighter beside the tree.

16

Dear me: please help. I need to imagine a reader. I need a format.

Answer: I have readers. Emilee, Susan, Kate, Jody? Rachel? Greg. Rob? Mike? Karen. Jim. Janet?

Do you think named short tales     yes
With explaining sidebars     YES
And bibliography     yes
And images     yes

Am seeing that what the delay has given is that I'm not as attached to particulars, I've given them and can cut them to essences.

Should I quote bits of the BA     yes
Do I need high bp to work     no
But it happens     yes

Let me introduce the figures. Make three persons vivid. Louie, Joyce, Tom. Woman, Temperance, Man. Their actual and their mythic.

Shy off going into the detailed sections, there is too much and it will throw my head every which way.

Just plunge?     yes
Into the before     yes

Structural principle the three terms

What it was like with men, not anti-patriarchy but showing women's susceptibility to ill-will

I missed a stage when I was little. It was a strength and a weakness.

17

Sent B the sight of sound.

18

I'm struck in reading the text you sent that it is more than a text, it is a listening guide. I am listening to the works you reference in the piece as I read, finding myself having to slow down my reading to match their timescale. I'm also struck by the synesthesia you invoke, but a synesthesia of a filmmaker. I see the itching desire to convert sound into image, not to illustrate the music, not to provide a screensaver to the music or to employ the music as a soundtrack, but to see the music.

For me, following the Thomas Hardy reference, the text is at its very strongest. Almost brought me to tears!

Thank you for sharing, Ellie, I appreciate it very much. I wonder if this might be fodder for another radio show, and if you'd mind me getting back in touch with you about this soon?

She was on a train from Amsterdam back to Berlin reading with her headphones on.

I haven't wanted to reread the sight of sound since I sent it, afraid to. Reading it now in the company of her listening competence I feel it's true of me and strong and clear. I have written things in these empty days.

-

Finished starving this morning and posted it with grade twelve.jpg. I was defending that valiant desperate girl, telling on those who neglected her. If Anne reads it she will feel that I shouldn't make her family look bad. If Cheryl reads it she will cringe because she hasn't dared tell on her mom.

"Our school photos came and I look young and somewhat fierce, and arrogant too, which I am - arrogant and hesitant and afraid of people."
 
-
 
I've never talked about starving in grade twelve. When I think of that girl now I think of her differently than she thought of herself. She thought of herself as happy, and she was, determinedly. She was also desperate.
 
Because the school in La Glace stopped at grade eleven the County boarded us elsewhere for grade 12. Most of the kids in my year went to Grande Prairie High but I chose Sexsmith School, where a teacher I'd loved was now the principal. The ten months living in Mrs Wold's rooming house in Sexsmith were my first experience of living alone. I'd always slept in a bed with my sister and in a house tight with my father's tension. At last I had a room of my own and I was overjoyed with its every detail.
 
Mrs Wold was a white-haired Norwegian widow who rented out the two upstairs bedrooms in her house on a maple-lined street near the post office. I loved the clean classic small-town feel of the house. I loved the town too, its classic town-ness, its small town characters who were like people in books.
 
These things amounted to a life I knew suited me best but at the same time there were stresses I couldn't completely afford to feel. Because I didn't want to marry him I'd lost the man who'd been sending a letter a week since I was sixteen. Things were bad at home. My dad beat my brother, was mean to my mom. "Bleak bleak Sunday. Cried bitterly tonight and cried bitterly the night before. I feel an almost hate and it's anguish." I was desperate for grades that would win me a full scholarship and slaved to get them, would study every night and on weekends. At Mrs Wold's house the TV would be loud in the evenings so after school I'd stay in my desk studying until I heard the nine-thirty siren. One night I didn't hear the siren and was still at my desk at nearly eleven. The principal came across the road to see what was up and drove me home.
 
I was thin. I suppose I was anorexic. But also I had almost no money for food. I think the County paid Mrs Wold's room rental directly but they sent my parents the board allowance. My parents must have kept most of the money for themselves because they gave me hardly any. There were bread, milk, eggs and carrots from home but I seldom had an actual meal. "An apple, 10 peanuts, a mug of iced tomato juice make a lovely meal for the day." I tried not to go home on weekends because of my dad so even the eggs and carrots thinned out. What money I had I spent on sugar for energy: chocolate bars, bananas, ice cream. When I did go home I ate too much. "Home overnight. I'm a guest there, a hog-eating guest." "Acutely sick because my stomach cannot stand such a landslide of food." I don't think anyone noticed.
 
On one of my nights working at school it occurred to me that there were lunch bags left behind under the coat hooks in the corridor. After that I always had some kind of supper. When the janitors were working downstairs I'd roam around quietly to see what I could find. A cheese sandwich, an apple.
 
-
 
Wasn't starving a way of feeling something pointed about my whole circumstance that year. I want to say to that girl You don't look arrogant, you look stressed. You have no idea what a hard time you're having. You can't afford to know how crushingly painful it was to lose Frank. You haven't realized your parents are cheating you of food money. You're on your own, your whole future depends on you. You shouldn't have had to be so desperate. But I'm proud of you that you did what you had to do to get to a better time.
 
Sexsmith AB 1962-1963, Merritt January 2022

Jim said, I have no doubt that if Dad knew you were not eating that you would have been at our dinner table every night.

It comforts me to read that, Mr Mann's kindness again.

I said, I know. But it wasn't a thing that could be told.

19

Cat radio. Patch loses interest in watching the bird videos but she seems to like hearing them, lies on the table near a speaker.

20

Freya's little family has Covid, the baby too.

Jim yesterday FB-shared the piece about his dad. From his page it brought me a Christian and an anti-vaxxer so today I've posted an abstract Ocean Beach photo to clear out the rabble.

21

InDesign and pdf of sight of sound.

wittgenstein on infinity.doc to further erase bad people.

Look at that! Clouds moving quietly from the north.

22

In a comment space under the Mr Mann piece an old La Glace name and a hideous gif of a cat frantically playing the piano. I found a way to delete it and blocked the commenter but it opened the miasma of spite still there in the community I left. A moment with Oma in her laundry room saying to her They hated us because we were smart and she saying Ich weiss dass.

-

When I sent Greg starving.doc he replied with an Alice Munro story I was still thinking about in bed this morning, that described the afternoon a young woman for the first time really interested herself ... is that the way to say it -

"Tell me about what interests you, then. What interests you?"

She said, "You do."

"Oh. What about me interests you?" His hand slid away.

"What you're doing now," Grace said determinedly. "Why."

"You mean drinking? Why I'm drinking?" The cap came off the flask again. "Why don't you ask me?"

"Because I know what you'd say."

"What's that? What would I say?"

"You'd say, 'What else is there to do?' Or something like that."

"That's true," he said. "That's about what I'd say. Well, then you'd try to tell me why I was wrong."

"No," Grace said. "No. I wouldn't."

When she'd said that, she felt cold. She had thought that she was serious, but now she saw that she'd been trying to impress him, to show that she was as worldly as he was, and in the middle of that she had come on a rock-bottom truth, a lack of hope that was genuine, reasonable, everlasting. There was no comfort in what she saw, now that she could see it.

Neil said, "You wouldn't? No. You wouldn't. That's a relief. You are a relief, Grace."

She had thought that it was touch. Inflammation. Passion. But that wasn't what she'd been working toward at all. She had seen deeper, deeper into him than she could ever have managed if they'd gone that way.

What she saw was final. As if she were at the edge of a flat dark body of water that stretched on and on. Cold, level water. Looking out at such dark, cold, level water, and knowing that it was all there was.

It wasn't the drinking that was responsible. Drinking, needing to drink - that was just some sort of distraction, like everything else, from the thing that was waiting, no matter what, all the time.

I can see my own stories in Munro country if I let myself but I see myself outclassed. "She had come on a rock-bottom truth" - when I was twenty I couldn't have been as pointed as that, I'd have tried to tell him why he was wrong. I chose the company of Frank, Roy, Tom, but was there ever a moment I saw into them this way.

Grace in the story had a dead mother and abandoning father; Neil in the story had hereditary mental illness and a father who'd committed suicide; Frank inherited bipolar and had a father who beat him; Roy inherited alcoholism and had an absent father; Tom had a dead mother and fetal alcohol syndrome. Grace saw into Neil because she came upon her own rock bottom in him. I was coming from blind blank denial and continued so.

Still? It says no. Coached by Joyce I did come upon my own rock bottom one Christmas Day in bed at home and I did track down a knowledge of what to make of catastrophe so that later I might have been able to describe an honest hope.

Alice Munro 2004 Passion in the New Yorker

- I'm not sure she completely knew what she was saying.

23

Sunday. Dirty world in weak sun. Crows.

Tree of lights shedding needles.

Winter abeyance grinding south like ice on rock.

-

Kadiatu Kanneh-Mason 2020 House of music: raising the Kanneh-Masons

24

Watching Neil Oliver on the Paleolithic last night I was feeling the soft-heart something I'd want to feel for a real man - what I imagine with David Macara - moments with Dave Carter - the evening with Robert MacLean - the engineer who built in a cistern. This is dim - just what it would be like to live that way. If I hadn't been imprinted on a mean dad and if I hadn't been a discount woman could I have found someone I could love that way. What way. Without division, with honour, with a glad eye, with a full heart. Tom saying You don't respect me, I saying work woman doesn't respect anyone and love woman's form of respect is trust. But I could respect someone in work and that would be trust too. What I should have meant when I said that last hard thing to Tom, If I hadn't been a cripple I'd have had a man with money.

There's mist this morning, rime on twigs. Under the streetlight I can see air hurrying sideways, falling sideways.

Am I right to want that     yes
Am I capable of it     yes
But not positioned for it     yes
Would it be correct to feel it even if I don't have it     NO
That religious thing     NO
So is it alright to feel it as fantasy     yes
It's true I'm a discount woman     yes

27

Woke in a damp nest. Nothing hurt. It was 4:30, I'd slept without waking. Am I better?

It's Mouse's day.

Two days of helpless miserable endurance. I couldn't walk but I had to. I had to get to the counter to open Patch's tin and to the door to let her out. I had to get to the aspirin. I'd step on my left leg and have to wriggle it a bit sideways first, just to dare to put my weight on it. I was using the broom handle as a cane, wobbling, almost falling backwards because the knee was unstable. When I lay in bed I ached all over, my hips, my wrist, the muscles of my head. I'd want to sit in hot water to ease the soreness but getting to and into the tub was a crisis, and then when I got out of it I'd be so faint I'd have to lie straight down. I kept thinking, if it stays like this I have to figure out how to kill myself. Was it Covid? I don't think so. But if not, what? January biorhythm crash?

28

Paul phoned this aft and we each sat with rare sun at our windows and talked for an hour full speed as we do. He said a good rare thing, that if he'd been born a woman he'd have been a flaming feminist. I don't think any man has ever said that to me before. What else. Another of his longtime best friends has died - that rare lovely thing, people liking each other. The boy who was so pestered in La Glace became a man good with other men. I said to him last time that he and I are probably the only people who know how self-made we are.

So then I'm thinking too how people I know have reverted to their sibs as they've aged. Greg I think speaks to hardly anyone else, I now speak almost only to Paul, Louie is more and more who she was at home, Rob since their mom died stays in touch with his two. We also talked about our Christian relatives who've gone redneck, or he says always were. He said Lillian is astonishing so I looked up her FB page, went down her friend list, 200-some people most with Mennonite names so I could see she has hardly left home. Paul said the grandparent generation voted Liberal because a Liberal Parliament let them into the country but their kids - apart from Anne and don't forget Herman - are solid Conservative. Clearbrook and then Bible School.

In our family Judie only made it halfway out - I was thinking that reading the second vol of the Ruskin biog, remembering the Victorian Lit class I took because I felt the better Victorians in their time had made the same passage I had to, Eliot for instance with more and longer struggle. Ruskin had Evangelical parents and many preacher friends and didn't get there 'til his forties and wouldn't say so till his parents died (I'm rounding off) and was more depressed about it than I ever was, though maybe I didn't take right account of it in some of the sadnesses of grade twelve. - Halfway out like the Victorians who edged into something like spiritualism or Unitarianism. Then most of my family who didn't make it out, maybe didn't try to make it out?, now seem part of the reactionary rabble endangering all intelligence and the planet itself. As if Paul and I found ourselves in the rarest little humane lull before the next dark age.

29

Mind focused here once, it says, a person knew this stone and the stone proclaimed the person. (Pride in the work: Ruskin stirs, who had lived until Pound was fourteen and had taught Europe to measure the craft by the craftman's involvement.) [Kenner]

Tim Hilton 2000 John Ruskin: the later years Yale

30

Was writing Greg about the Slade yesterday and this morning have been thinking to turn what I wrote him into a piece. It seems extraordinary to have got myself into the most venerable of British art schools without having to apply, and in a film program that accepted only four students a year. It was enterprise in the dark. There didn't seem to be any way into making films - the London School of Film Technique was expensive and techy, and scarily male, and its term already begun. I devised a plan for independent study supervised out of the BFI. I'd never heard of the Slade but Peter had a word with someone and got me permission to audit there as part of my plan. That was a huge score because Slade film department screenings covered the whole history of cinema, 4 or 5 shows a week in the physics theatre. So there I was arrived in London with no plan and hardly any money, a month out of a body cast, sore-hearted and game. From that standing start I made my way. I don't think anyone has ever noticed what a thing that was -

Cheryl marveled that I could say pleased things about myself, because she is so shamed by her mother's treatment that she's never been willing to tell even a therapist. Don is haunted still by his parents' disappointment. My parents were disappointed too but I didn't believe them. I'm very ready to be proud of myself. I think Paul is too. What is the difference if not some born quality of heart and spine?

-

Yesterday when I was outside getting groceries from the jeep I heard a loud braying of air horns - many of them overlapped - moving somewhere in the east, probably approaching. Then a procession of lumber trucks and pickups wearing Canadian flags running past the end of the street on Nicola. I knew it was related to the Ottawa convoy protesting vaccination requirements for cross-border truckers but it scared me because it felt to me like men yelling defiance at women's emancipation. It felt like war: men needing to feel banded together against an enemy, choosing as token enemy the feminist prime minister but really wanting to smash the progressive gains that have made them less entitled as men.

-

Have discovered online grocery shopping. Frozen Italian meatballs.

Kathy is back since last week and will come on Wednesday.

31

8 in the morning, thick white sky snowing lightly onto mostly bare ground. It's prettier than it was but there's a sense of smother. Mother Hulda's feathers. What was that, a girl went under the world and found something about a well? - Look it up. The girl jumped into a well and found herself in a flowering meadow. Bread called to be taken from an oven. Apples called to be shaken from a tree. An old woman asked for her feather bed to be well shaken every day. As the girl was leaving this world gold dropped from the sky. It's a story that rewards kind diligence but what I remember is world under the world. That always stuck with me. Underworld journey that finds change of fortune. Schoolroom bookshelf in grade three a row of fairytales. I was eight. I read them all. From then on pagan intuitions. Completely untaught and unvoiced and held with light certainty where Christian teaching caught no hold at all. What was that private confidence? As if protected in some unknown way, wrapped in a couple of inches of quiet light.

Do you understand what kept me intellectually safe     YES
You'll say it was you?     no
Intelligence     no
Being sent away     yes
Did some force intend that for me     no
It happened, that's all     yes
It freed me     yes
It wasn't a trauma?     it was, but an initiation
Would you say I've made good of the gift     yes

I did drop down a well and find a world, and when I went home again I went protected by the freedom I'd become. "You discovered you didn't need anyone."

There's the gift and here's the cost,

Could I have found someone I could love that way. What way. Without division, with honour, with a glad eye, with a full heart.

So I'm that balance and always have been but know it better now.

February 1

WRITE YOUR BOOK OH MY GOD

2

4:30 in open black. I've turned off the light in the kitchen and Patch is probably on the table with her paws folded under her gazing into the garden. She can do that for hours.

Some days ago she was asleep on the bed and I was on the toilet starting to poop. She jumped up and ran straight toward me wanting to climb onto my lap. What is that: she never wants onto my lap when I'm just peeing. Then I sit holding her wondering is it that she likes the smell, or is it fellow-feeling, her large animal doing something she understands, or is she wanting to console me in what feels to her to be an outlandish or maybe a painful thing.

I'm brighter and younger since I was sick, a bit renewed.

-

Fine judgment in detail - I can do that now.
But a kind of narrative organization I haven't learned

Do I fill in now, what I should have said but didn't? Because I did what I do, consoled myself with visual pleasure.

Invent journal? It says yes.

Re-immerse     yes

3

Three things make me more ready. One is spinning off the small stories I don't want to lose onto FB. Another is having fixed bp. The other is realizing there are always three terms (people) not two. Start with the book!

4

To know what to excerpt I need a sense of the whole arc but I also need to give a sense of the confusion I start with.

What I've said I'm going to do and how I've said I'm going to do it. What else I'm doing, work that has to be hidden, and how it accomplishes itself in the journal. Contrasting parallel forms of language. How to tell the story of both in one format. How to live both without splitting alternation. Tactful managing.

I'm sorting but as always it seems wrong to. I guess the sorting is just to find the best instances of something, and then go back to actual sequence.

5

what's at issue in a book

If it succeeds what is it it does. Takes people through the breakthroughs there were.

It can be transparent rather than novelistic? Meaning patch in earlier journal and say so?

The journal as parallel work. Childhood of the philosopher. Journal about the journal.

There were good summaries in the year before, when I was working up the project. Should I have a before section? Should I fold them in as if they happen in the first semester?

6 Sunday

I've settled something. There has to be a before section, the furry man and forming the project. I'll compress them in time or not specify time. They are short. This section ends with him leaving, me saying what I've learned about how to love a man, the project accepted.

Chunks.

-

M died at 5:30. Phone message from Paul.

Whether I can play Ed Gabrielsen's Litanei at the funeral - whether I can organize it technically.

8 Best Western Abbotsford

7:30. Tea in a paper cup. A good room. Journey stress is done. I have all day. Paul will be getting Rudy from the airport and dealing with a lawyer. Ro and Freya on Thursday. Patch will have spent her first night alone but Kathy will visit this morning. Yesterday a bus journey first through my own dry interior country, bare ground and shrunken snow; then the long slopes burned last summer, thick stands of thin black poles; then a high mountain pass, evergreens pillowed with snow, glimpses of vast heights in Japanese mist; and last the cedar, hemlock and moss of descent to the Pacific. - I wrote that to Emilee though I know she isn't interested in scenery.

-

I could mourn so easily for Mouse and still do a year later. I feel it as keeping faith with the lovely spirit he was. I can't feel that way for my mother. She wanted me to be so much smaller than I wanted to be and could be. "You have such a strong personality" said as a complaint. "I find it hard to believe you'll be alright" when I was obviously so. "You are no longer the one who ...." "Why did you have to get rid of God" in her hard ugly voice. Her hunger drained me. I suppose she was exhausting in Louie's way because she was hiddenly angry? The day her rage exploded because I'd burned Desser's ideal photo - she didn't ask why I did it, she didn't ask whether I was in trouble, which I was, she was just furious that I'd robbed her of a fantasy.

I didn't lie to her about anything she'd disapprove, I tried carefully to explain because I wanted her to have a chance. When she demanded greeting cards instead I went into despair.

I hold those things against her - I do - and don't recall the good moments. After I was valedictorian in Sexsmith she wrote me a good letter but that night she didn't resist Ed's push to leave so she didn't speak to me and I went home alone. (Was Ed angry that I limped on the platform? Or maybe he'd understood that when I said There are some among you I didn't mean him.) She wouldn't be honest about him; she let me defend her without acknowledging that there was reason to, so I always had to stand up to him alone. When I named it to her she didn't say yes it was like that, she said You are no longer the person who ..., meaning she'd demoted me from what she had never acknowledged she'd needed.

She was always angry     yes
Hiddenly     yes
At me because she couldn't have what I had     yes
Is that all I need to know     YES
When she said she couldn't see how I'd be alright she meant how dare you be alright given the rules you break?     yes

Okay, but what good things. She said "But if anything you were the favorite" when I said the hardest thing in childhood had been sibling rivalry. When I was in the first years at Queen's she sewed for me and sent cookies. She gave money for Trapline. She gave all of us a pile of money when Ed died so she ended up paying off my PhD loans. When we spoke on the phone even years later I'd notice a sound that came into my voice, intimacy.

Giving money was the opposite of that?     no
It was guilt for being so gutless with Ed     yes

9

Judie is so relaxed, wearing something ethnic, sitting back, telling stories in a humorous voice. We eyed each other across the table. Michael white haired, thinner faced with the same strong brown eyes. Rudy grey-faced, unshaven, four beers on, slurring so I can't understand what he says. They can and laugh kindly at his jokes. Paul quite silent next to me. We were eating Thai food and trying to keep to common experience. There was a feeling that all is forgiven, though Rudy was sitting with his back half-turned away from all of us.

Michael as we were going to leave held his phone across to me to show a starved woman arched back onto a pillow with her mouth open. I said Who is that. Someone I'd never met, not Mary, someone younger but in mortal agony. Michael had been carefully holding back but then just for a moment blazed into himself and said he believes spirits are eternal.

Is there more to say?

comparing how sweet and easy it has been to grieve for mouse. it wd be better to feel that way about my poor thwarted mom but something wants to hold out for truth and justice even when all pressure of denial is gone
 
for all the necessary severances or unexpected losses in the relationship she gave rise to you
 
my mother was thwarted too and it was a revelation when you pointed it out to me - maybe she was already broken by the time she had you, you'd said - and that opened my eyes to a path away from that fate for myself.
 
that is a truth and a justice, and the realization awakened a larger compassion in me for my mom that I can hold even as she goes further down a road I will not take and can't retrieve her from

-

Is there anything I NEED to say?     no
Anything I should say     yes
Who is the saying for     the younger people
Grandchildren, nieces and nephews     yes
 
Did you like Judie and Michael     no
Do you like Paul     no
Me     yes
Comment     in oppression/of death/shared pleasure/community
Doing what we should do in the circumstance     yes
You're saying but nothing is resolved     yes

What's the anxiety, it's being seen as less than I was and less than I am even now. None of what I am and what I've done can show.

10

Rowen at Mary's reception vivid black and pink in a room full of grey people - Judie across the room looking to see me feeling what she was feeling when people said Mary was nothing but good - Paul walking across the room an old man - Rudy like a drunk in a Russian novel, grizzled, shabby-headed, slurring, coming out with a sudden joke - Lill and John in their late 80s, Lill wrapped in a tight nylon raincoat, John beaky like an old heron - Lucy a brimming crone with a long drizzle of white hair under a red hat, eager and clutching, smiling irresistibly with bright false teeth, more there than most - Liesbet in a wheelchair, small pink face, eager to kiss me - George at the important table with Judie and Paul and Michael - Hilda smiling from another - cousin-grandchild table with Alfred, Raymond and Tony - a man in a sharp hat I didn't know, who turned out to be Dave - Martha used-to-be Friesen, Ernie's sister, a nice pale orange person - all these people crowded in a line having their photo taken, Lucy clutching Rowen in front of me, Judie sitting and Michael lying on the floor in front - the last time all those descendents of Opa and Oma will be together I thought.

Behind a thick cedar hedge at the cemetery a mound covered with a tarp, next to it the open grave margined with astroturf. An overcast chill. Eight chairs in two rows, everyone else standing. She'd said she wanted a trumpeter. John reading the committal passages in a dull voice.

Now staring at the mid-legs of very tall trees, warm cat at my knee, Rowen napping with that fast bright little boy.

What I'm afraid to tell, going up at the end to play the Litanei off the iPad, Rowen at my heels without being asked. I was blind scared, why would I be. My hand was shaking. Rowen reached to support the iPad from underneath and stood beside me as the song played. He was proud I was the punk of the gathering he said after. I'd told the injustice of her life, that she was a loving young woman betrayed in marrying a man who couldn't love. Did it scare me because I was telling my own story.

12

5:41. Real tea. Clean quiet house. Patch licking my chin more than usual.

When we stepped out of Ro's house yesterday morning, very high up there was sunlight on treetops. Bright daytime all the way through the broad valley and over the pass. On the long downslope I started to say look at this, I've felt hardly anything but I'm happy to be coming home. Have come home to spring.

The week feels unfinished because I didn't debrief with Paul and Judie. Also because I don't know how I seemed when I played the Litanei.

Did I look ugly     no
Did they like the German     yes
Did any of them understand the words     YES
Did any of them like that I spoke against Ed     YES
Did Judie really think it was beautiful     no
Did she feel outclassed     yes
Did Michael mean we should see more of each other     yes
Was Lillian mad at me for my writing     no
Does she read it     yes
Was it silly to attack her with those two items     no
Last chance to get even     YES
Lucy has come into her own     YES

- Look a pale glow all along the horizon -

What I most need to say is how I still stop feeling and knowing in those kinds of time and place. Was remembering when I was in Hong Kong with Jam's family, that I got drunk to try to still be something true; the way in those days I did desperate things to try to continue to be - said what I did to Judie because I believed any lie or evasion would spoil my presence. It was true: it still does. I was blank playing the Litanei and yet I did declare my truest relation to my mom, though I had to do it without presence.

- The pale tint is so lovely.

Has time opened someway because Mary finally got her long dying done?

Do you think?     yes

13

People who replied to the Tischlied: Judie, Anne, cousins Violet, Heather, Philip, Ruth.

-

Note from Jill in Cape Town. Note from Luke saying he's recovering from a week with covid. Startling note from Vincent Grenier apologizing for something in an agony of mistaken scruple.

Sunday morning, sun on the corner.

I've posted the photo of Mary seventeen on the Bible school steps. What I'm thinking is that I've held onto a story of Ed's betrayal of her young self that isn't the whole story. She had a long life she made something of. Even her marriage wasn't always bad. Her denials cost me, she probably was not in good accord with her uncon, but she was carefully interested in many people who loved her for that interest.

Was I wrong to hold onto that     no
Because she and other people denied it     YES

Roy was a betrayal of young heart too but I don't feel sorry for myself, so am I wrong to feel this loyalty to her young self? No. Because she didn't fight? Yes. I was left holding the fight she dodged.

So did I discharge that hold now     YES
"You are no longer the one who ..." was really wicked     YES

14

Have sorted slabs of days, emotional work, school work separately for certain times.

15

This morning I posted what M said remembering me when I was two.

That shouldn't happen to my fearless, inquisitive explorer, my Rabbit, my black-eyed, raven-haired little Indian.

You were such a darling, so interesting a companion.

You didn't need to fear the cows - no, they were to fear you so you could walk where you wished. Your two-year old self had that clearly determined.

Then I edited text-scanning errors in the online version of Perception without representation. I'd given a semester to Dennett and written it the summer before I drove to SD. It's superb. It reset something essential in my frame and it's stylish: light and loose and subtle and direct. I crossed into another zone writing it. And Phil didn't acknowledge it, didn't engage with it. Phil couldn't follow it? Phil was afraid of it?

Did he have any idea how far I'd zoomed ahead of him?     YES
But he wouldn't give it to me     yes

I was looking for a passage for Theory's and most of it is too technical, I mean tied into a professional debate I don't want to have to explain. What do I want from it. The essence of the reset in my own terms not theirs, what changed.

16

Yesterday I extracted the work record of 1995 up to leaving for San Diego. 18 pages. Is it basically done? Does it name what I thought needed setting up in the before section?

I'm seeing that I can deal with technicality by leaving out what I had to say to deal with my context.

I can intersperse journal additions from now?

Is it dishonest?     yes
But still?     yes

17

Last night Canadian women winning gold against the US. I watched the third period. Hockey to me is just a mad dashing around but I like that it's women being fast rough and famous. Compared to what - compared to the old days. After they win they throw off their helmets. They're young, they're girls with messy hair who don't look like lesbians. Then in their red bulk with arms on each other's shoulders all up the line they sway as they sing the anthem, behind them in a glassed box the coaching staff in dark clothes linked and swaying too. The defeated team stands separated and dour. Silver isn't nothing but in that rivalry it is. America the smiling gangster boss of the world.

Canadian women - Canada as womanly compared to the US - womanliness won.

18

A bit every day but should it be more. Today I've sorted the first SD months into

4 - driving slow 4
5 - the golden west hotel 6
6 - wings of desire 16
7 - brain and imagining 8
8 - driving fast 4

-

Has Rob been swallowed up? Angry about vaccine passports - shouting about the truckers. "They're good people!" "People aren't stupid!" I said I've never seen him heated about an issue, why this one? He said the government is being disrespectful in the way it talks to him. (I agree Trudeau hasn't been speaking well, he isn't personal, stands at a podium reading statements in a halting voice.) I say but what about the fact that the American right wing has sent half the millions donated. "I don't care about that!" What about the Nazis and white supremacists and QAnon conspiracists? (What about the calls to replace the elected government with a government of the protesters themselves?)

On PBS last night a yoga teacher saying half the alternative wellness people in her community are believing QAnon stories about Democrats trafficking children and vowing that Trump won. Single mothers working from home are making online incomes as anti-vax bloggers and those other madnesses leak in from the side. People are made to distrust government sources and told to research for themselves and then they're poking around in contexts they don't know how to evaluate. Algorithms are feeding them exciting controversy. They light on someone to believe. Credulous people formerly harmless are being weaponized.

There are sure to be national competitors seeding distrust - Chinese and Russian hackers etc - but are people buying into it not only because of pandemic stress but also because they dimly understand that the planet's weather really is ungluing? Are they like Germany between the wars so undone they'll worship a monster?

-

Tell me who I am dir. Ed Perkins on Netflix.

19

Copy-edited Brain and imagining this morning and am indignant at Phil's neglect. He was elated that Paul gave it an A but it seems to have pleased him as if he had earned the A himself. He had not one thing to say about it. It is deep and crisp and even - it's sophisticated, acute, widely-read and stylishly written in the manner of the best of its time but he said none of that, as if afraid earned praise of me would diminish his manhood. I was never that ungenerous as a teacher: not to acknowledge is bad teaching.

Was he afraid earned praise of me would diminish his manhood     yes

For me the paper was foundational; it established the distinctions and terms I'd need for what came next. I'd found my allies in brain science and psychophysiology and discovered how to read them without falling into their metaphors. It's miles beyond Analog-digital distinction. It's a thorough semester of work accomplished among overwhelming surges of love and fear.

20

This morning lumpy frost like thin foam insulation hurled onto everything.

I'm working on the first months in SD.

Do you think it's mostly good so far     YES
Can I do more today     no

-

Neolithic cosmology. Neil Oliver.

21

Little scratch at the door. I get up and open it just wide enough for a small body near the floor to slip through. She goes straight to what's left in the bowl. Next she'll come to my chair and want to climb on my lap. Then she'll cry to have the door opened again. Now when I want to say Alright I'll let you out, come on, I click twice with my tongue and she jumps to follow. The garden is dark, cold and completely still but she'll disappear into her unknown interests. Last night when it was bedtime and I needed her inside I had to rattle the treat tin longer than usual and then saw her bombing around the alley side of the garage and up the sidewalk and into the gate and up the porch steps in one leap - why do I always love her race to the door.

22

What about the long addiction section. It's good bookwork but very repetitive. Talks instead of body-resolving.

Today I'm scraping ahead to get a sense of the shape.

13 - audition paper.doc
12 - he visits (7).doc
14 - metaphor paper.doc
15 - language
16 - he returns with me

23

I've liked Pointed roofs least but now it seems so really clear and lively and accurate in naming a young person's unnamed sensations and scruples and fascinations and worries and private pleasures. She began it in 1912 (Ezra was living on Church Walk and had got to Imagism) when she was 39, a year before the first vol of A la recherche, two years before A portrait of the artist and ten years before Jacob's room. She'd been with the Quakers and then was living in Cornwall when she wrote it. Before Alan I think.

What that book would have been to women who read it in 1915, except that England was at war with Germany by then. Her wartime books Backwater 1916, Honeycomb 1917, The tunnel and Interim 1919. Married Alan in 1917. 1896 Endsleigh St when she was 23 (Ezra was 11) though she back-dates it by two years.

24

What to do with the addiction section - there's so much of it - it's so repetitive. What do I want from it.

o summary of what addiction is.
o giving Tom an ultimatum and hanging in suspense till he comes through.
o what I learn about my own form of addiction.
o the voice of the book

- Seeing I have to be slow and patient to both demonstrate and compress it.

This morning seeing how particular the work on my own addiction - I was going for structure of addiction in general but it was lining up the particular harms of my father and mother and early abandonment.

That structure won't be common enough for readers to be interested in much of it     no it's common enough
Plus which does showing my madness undermine the whole enterprise     no
Was there enough actual coming through to validate the work     yes

25

$45,000. Can't think of much I need it for. Some things I need that I don't think it can do, fix L knee, L hip, L shoulder, gait - make me able to walk. Replace ugly teeth.

27

Computers. It would need a lot of research.

March 1

A young man with a big nose walking past. Is he wearing nylons? Loose on his thin legs. A memory device small as a postage stamp, maybe his, that I don't open all the way, messy music I don't like. Then I'm in a library opening a book with a passport folded into it. I think it's the young man's forgotten there when he returned the book. I'll hand it to the desk but I'll look at it first. Hand written notes from his travels. Sketches in fountain pen ink directly onto the pages - look at them! So strong, very filled-in. Was there a dim wonder that I was making them myself? - So now I write the dream wanting to see the marvelous drawings again. I can't, just a vague sense of dense black lines on the bottom three quarters of a left hand page, a drawing framed in firm double lines. - Then the way whenever I try to write a dream I'm always having to catch back the lazy sentences that haven't paused to look again. Sketching and writing, lifetime's work of seeing and saying, being and saying. Other people who don't do that.

6:38, patchy luminous sky slipping evenly north.

Patch is so conscious a body. I mean how aware she always is of whether a leg is cramped when I hold her or the way she'll keep changing her shape as she sleeps. Just now she rolled her shoulders a bit backward and stretched out her legs. There's her belly rising and falling, there's her small face closed and bare to the light. Then her arm rises to cover her eyes. Seeing so conscious a body always a pleasure to me as if I become it in seeing it.

-

Do you think Putin will use nukes     no
Is Zilensky going to be killed     no
Will Putin be defeated     yes

Masha Geffen talking about how Putin and Trump are similar though different. 1. This was a new obvious thought: they don't lie to be believed, they lie to demonstrate power, "I can say anything I want". 2. They have no interest in excellence: Trump's inauguration cake was an exact copy of Obama's but it was only 3" deep, styrofoam the rest of the way down. Kakocracy or kakistocracy, government of the worst. 3. They despise moral authority. 4. They have interests rather than commitments and can be tolerated in their contexts because so much of governing bores them that they leave it to others. 5. They govern by gesture. 6. They have disdain for government, appoint heads of departments most at odds with those departments. 7. They live in a small news bubble, in T's case Breitbart. 8. Their success is so unlikely they feel it must be fated.

Now I'm wondering what will change in US and Canadian national politics because there's an exciting international enemy. Will they identify with the aggressor or the courageous victim.

2

Why is the theory of addiction section so difficult. What am I not focusing. It's doing more than one thing and I haven't got them clear.

General theory of addiction
Romantic/sexual addiction in my case.
Childhood abandonment and its relation to defense and subsequently addiction.
Writing I like
Addiction in Tom
Tom coming to decision and my feeling it at a distance
Days for pleasure and relief and grounding in presence
Work still happening offside

3

A hard night awake and aching. Can I work.

4

The family, documentary about the Christian underground in Washington. Ugly grey men networked all over the world. "Family values." Jesus imagined as strongman, leadership as election by deity. The film gave them five episodes to describe themselves and barely hinted at their nationalist, racist, classist and patriarchal motives. Said it is about power but never asked the deeper question about men organizing themselves around a fantasy, why male psychology needs that. The documentary is ambivalent because there is something right and something wrong about what those men do. The filmmakers are enlisted by what is right in it but haven't the analysis to see the relation of what is right and what is dangerously wrong.

What happens when those groups pray. Is it what happens when I talk to the book, do they speak from a larger self? I talk from two structures in myself - is that the way to say it. They're working with an effective cognitive technology but don't have a correct understanding of it. They are working with the uncon but keeping it uncon, is that it? YES.

There was a moment when I was starting to work on imagining that I asked why it had the valence it had, of pleasure and consolation. I suddenly saw it as beloved delusion. I was shocked as if a floor had been taken out from under me.

The mechanism of addiction - how addiction works - is central to the story I'm writing but are the grey men something else. I feel in them an implacable need to suppress women. Am I wrong? No. Ask, if they suppress that form of energy what do they replace it with. An elation of successful control?

I keep wanting to see the other kind of human, the free kind, live bodies not encased in grey. Zelensky, Ocasio-Cortez.

A truly multiracial, pluralistic democracy in which an individual's status was not determined to a significant degree by race, gender, or religion? I don't think that's ever been achieved anywhere. It's a vision that reactionaries abhor - to them, it would be the end of "western civilization".

5

Don has sent a note saying he's sorry he hurt me. That annoys me all over again. I wasn't hurt I was impatient: you can't meet me as I'd like so be gone: I was wrong about you and for years. Enough.

Is it alright to cut him off         yes
True I was wrong about him     YES



part 2


time remaining volume 11: 2022 January-December

work & days: a lifetime journal project