| edged out volume 8 part 1 - 1983-1984 december-january | work & days: a lifetime journal project |
Saturna Island 13 December 1983 An account: wanting to take things from other houses - moving out of one place giving back stolen things - here, beginning right away, uneasy, will they think I'm a thief. Bragging, the same - what is it to establish, I want them to think I'm smart. He's looking at my sock feet. Thinking of Sandy coming here (is that -). J and morality, using other people's resources. Victoria's unimpressedness, wimp eyes. Trying to hold Diana's attention. Renee's note as if in pity. Eating. Them! Their interest measuring me. What will we know, they like - It's 9 days since the show, and before it, quite a long time, going forward performing what's in front of me, clearing the house, taking shortcuts across the meetings with people, watching it, the program being set to get me here. Settling the house, outfitting, jars, rugs, domestic, cookbooks, curry, imagining order. The brown wood. Ships' carpentered. Tea towel. Incense. Oma dead. That had to be set aside. Was it something - so far from crying - her hands colder than they wd've been, the refrigerator - telling M I put something under her knee. "Who spoke well." J coming into the room in the baby singlet (I forgot), fall of hair, elf-set liddle triangle, holding on, not liking to kiss, but I will, help, clinging to speech. Come badness tell me everything. "... reading it as tho' you weren't in touch with it, because you didn't have me bringing you cups of tea and little things to eat." Small party about the work - pink yogourt - kind breakfast - 'the vision' - pretty pretty mouth, the limbs in painting pants and work boots solid. Sound. Doing it expensively - erring - can it go through contrition now - Piling things unaccounted - feeling I could keep a rough balance tho' the detail wasn't cared for as usually. On the ferry J with her dream having realizations. Dreams gone unseen. Marion [Barling] working with us on the screen. The screen! Plumbing pipe scotch tape paper and string. Slides on black. The Screens films. "It was a screen door and I was using it to catch the gnats." The little stone man set down in his smaller square onto the road. Dimming. About the show - was anyone there who can move me out - possibly not - out - Play the whole - sound at slow speed analyzing it by ear. Then I'd try to play it on the synthesizer. Pitch and rhythm. Complex tone. The whole sounds were rising in pitch, the harmonic structure shifting. Spectral analysis of the sounds. 15 Thursday, fifth day I've [been here] - made bread - read a romance in South Africa - helpless innocent girl [effort to analyze the silly plot not transcribed]. Good salt water. What it was the little boy had seen buried in the sandy earth at the foot of his bedroom tree. The cave, the ripple lapping softly on the stones. There's a strong scour with the ebb. The schooner siddled and drew nearer in the dark. Ben Gun / Golem. The born favorite. - In this time -
[This part reads as if it was typed not handwritten.] Seen from above the island is shaped like an eagle flying northeast. The escarpment runs completely across it, wingtip to wingtip. Above this line on the map is the wetter, more populated space, which has several stores, a harbour surrounded by houses, a school, churches, roads, the ferry landing with a pub and a store. This side of the island is cut off by the cliff, one has to walk in, over the brink and down a switchback trail through tall Douglas firs. Below the cliffs is the eagle's well-spread tail, a shelf of land on the south slope, Mediterranean, blond, warm, a farm with narrow fields and pastures lengthwise, and then the fall of broken rock, uprooted trees, shining naked arbutus, fir holding on by scabby roots as thick as the trunk, skimpy cedar, and juniper the sheep like, with a precinct trodden under them. The water below is green. Huge logs with the bark scraped off them, being banged on the rocks. Huge rocks, that have split in room-sized cubes, moss and lichen on their roofs, maybe a bush. I don't stay long in the forest, where it feels violent. The floor is littered with dead and live branches flung from the trees that stand quite grey and dead below the canopy. And shattered rock unassimilated jumble one can't walk through. To windward, huge firs just flung over, some still alive, showing the whole of their shallow root spread. Arbutus trees half alive and half dead, large grey limbs standing with the bright ones. Skimped cedar, just making it. But the juniper is thick, dwarf. Its whole posture shows it clawing in, under the rocks, between the rocks, who knows how deep. The sheep like it. Even at the edge of the cliff, sheep pellets lying with the blue berries. It is like Delphi. Walking the trails, sometimes a sharp smell of goat. The smell is there still, in that place, days later. - This is a wonderful place. I opened the door just now, and could hear, in the dark, something swimming - like a heavy breaststroke, and not with loud breathing, like a whale or sea lion. It heard me on the slope, and stopped. But one day soon I'll know what it was. This afternoon when from my table I heard loud breathing and rushed out it was whales journeying in the sound, not far from shore. Six black fins angled back as they rise and forward as they sink - rolling along. They heard a fishboat and sounded. Then I heard them breathing south of the point, and could see the fins in sunlight beyond the trees. Two mornings ago I heard breathing so loud I thought I'd see whales, but it was the big sand-colored heads of three sea-lions heading north. But they swim like whales, grandly rolling up and under, roundly as if over bolsters. That day was foggy, sea and air were like velvet. The shores were whited out, but between them and under the white ceiling was a clear soft open light. I came over the rocks and saw below them a lovely bright swimmer, head out of the water looking at me, long body flowing under. The tail whips - an otter - near shore - and then I see it swimming with a friend - and then three of them further out. There were logs in the middle of the sound with cormorants on them like rows of pins. A foghorn where no boat can be. The land across. In that air the sound almost not a sound, more like a darkening of the space. And then after a time the ship is in sight in the channel, a huge rust-red coal freighter slipping through without a bow-wave. A monsterously big voice, as if the ship's, giving orders in Japanese, from the quarter deck. Yesterday the air dried out. I walked up the pasture, inland. When I stopped I could hear my whole perimeter sparkling. The escarpment was basking. There were six eagles lying on the warm air next to it. There is an ugly-natured loud squawk that is the beautiful heron's when it is disturbed out of a tree. Windless, but there's a roar. Is it water falling down the face of the cliff. The sandstone is basking. There are eagles lying on the air rising beside it. - It is a well-wrighted cabin, fifty years old. The incidental shelves are beautifully set; the windows have nine panes and slide down into the walls. The verandah faces the sound. The cedar isn't varnished, it is just smoked. There's an iron-framed bed and a dresser, a wood stove, a table, three kitchen chairs, a bench, a ccounter. The sink drains invisibly into a cistern. There is a lot of firewood and a very good axe. Water comes from a spring fitted to a pipe and faucet. The outhouse is downhill. Kerosene for the lamps is kept in a red can on the porch of one of the old resort buildings that was a lodge. There's a bookshelf in the lodge with Cherry Ames, Sue Barton, Swallows and Amazons, Huckleberry Finn, and worse, near the dock. - Under the deck among the cars in metal a German shepherd barking on a rope. In the dark metal hold, in the car sitting with J, in the car deck, under metal. J kissing me on the mouth. I don't like it. I owe her. A local man passing the car peers in. I imagine death. She says what is it. A man comes to the island. A man on the island kills me because he saw me kissing a woman. I can't tell her that. The man stooping to peer at me in the car. The man bringing wood wears a white toque pompomed, blue gaze sideways. A bruise under his eye, he's quite old. On the little local ferry approaching me. Are you Ellie Epp. You must be Jim Campbell, yes I think you spotted me on the ferry. He says not. Tweed coat with elbow patches. What kind of farmer is he. A lot of wood that my father had chopped for me. I think it means that going to this cabin is something parental. A gentleman farmer. The car first, old thing, sets the boxes onto the trunk and roof, drives down with the door open. Boat too, nice shape, white and green, battered. Daughter pink and bearded, calm eyes. Telling her the tractors he saw. The grandson bringing the onion the puppy. Good girl, you stay right here. Shopping bags of Christmas cake fruit. They're kindly, not impatient. The boxes on the boat deck, plastic, sailing forward. Up the coast. Stopped. Stooped. Why. Powder blue chairs. Discussing the house's colors. Steifel. Spalten. The stove is smoking more than it should. Did I say that. Having a mushroom book. Knowing the name of the mouse. In bed in the evening before, J seeing an intruder. It's not an accident, it's an intruder. It isn't murder. A quite tall dark man. I don't see a beard, hair thinning. The man who died by an accident. I look down over the sleeping balcony rail, the man (Brent) pulling Margaret nearer, she, is she holding back. Sheep trails on the cliff. Eagles. The Greek sea perhaps. A light rain on the roof. Firelight shaking on the pan, through a thin line in the iron. A piece of wood fell in the firebox. The candle on the spool rotating as I type. Jars and a canister. Pants on a line. Pants clothespinned on a line alongside the stove. They don't care to impress, but a barbecue for fourteen hundred people? Is that lordly? The romance of the planter's house and the young girl. The middleaged woman novelist, gives herself a husband too, and a daughter. To: my father. Climbing over the rocks, those with holes bored in them, seeing it as a old engine, oiled engine. What do I get. Bloodlietting. Blood line bloodmobile blood money. Money? 18 Nepali string incense
The images before sleep, ripples, a hand. Rosehips. 19 A ship passing so silent and close I rushed out, don't believe, most of it is sail, a blue square sail, one man, trailing a lot of baggage, is he taking an expedition somewhere, behind him or with him, a freighter? of suitcases, or a barge. Looking for a room in the student town, through occupied rooms, upstairs into an attic, someone wants to share, it's boards, I want an office I can live in, deciding which room, windows don't have sun I can sit in, one room, window onto a greenhouse, gravel and plants, I'll have that room, window in an alcove, stairs going up from it?, when I go up them I'm in the apartment the other woman chose, fireplace, antiques, so I can't use the staircase. Phone numbers written on the kitchen wall - other writing - we're going to pay the large rent - moving a ladder I break the stained glass window in the hall, I'll measure it but will have to replace it with plain glass, I measure the upper several parts, is the main pane broken too? Maybe not, but I hold it to show it buckling on the crack lines. I measure the landlady, in a corset or wrap, chest to just the level of her sex. A television set in the snow, large screen, he rushes to watch only those parts of the show that are sports, the Roughriders, it was thought Lech Walesa was favoring the Edmonton Eskimos but - in the last moments - it's Don Druick - snow twilight mornings - waking before daylight but without the (colorless fuel, jet propulsion, white gasoline, cold water) to get into the dreams and see them. The abyss is next to us. Then she saw it. Fright in ideas.
I want the men to see I've passed them, I want them to say so. Anyone who does isn't a man. I don't want to use the authority mannerisms though I do use the intelligence ones. Using the public to test the work. Afraid of the way everything that happens may be seen as significant in the esoteric way of dream reading. - I have been - wanting not to write generally - the night panics are only in thought - common events seem to have been impressive in the system implied by the dreams. Reading with a feeling of separating the parts of a concoction into sources, glamours, tensions.
20 Mark in a car chase, police are just up behind us, it's mortal for him but he's taking it resigned, they will in the end get him. In night streets, an upstairs room. Wake in the cold, am really awake, when I shift my head, see through the skylight the dazzling rider at zenith, it is mid-night woke me, very cold, open the window for smoke, cower under, candles, one lamp in the kitchen, candles on the bed-head. The day quite springing, more than yet, shouting to the ocean in commotion You're full up. There was premorning then morning and bright midday, from the window seeing a gathering of gulls and ducks excited, on the choppy see, flowing south, the black ducks which as they're watched, duck, under. Speaking to the pasture, walking on the north edge of it to be in sun, yellow raincoat cracking, sucking rosehips, walking until the handful is gone, gathering more - stretching down the bramble. The blue is very intense. Imagining, planning, a sauna hut. Afternoon after chopping in the cold, sitting on the porch resting, I want to go to the water - the starfish, is it dead, an unpleasant feel, injured - alive? The individual suckers are, minute prehensile tubes, feeling the quality of the rock I put it on, the many of them, move the soft limb - red - twenty arms - bristles. The loved housekeeping, finding where to keep kitchen tools. Wood sorted on the porch. Finding things and bringing them. This morning going into the forest, nervous, finding myself in its dry brown enclosure, angular litter of rocks, branches, what little can I see, holes going in under roots, but litter in them. A heavy creak in the unvisible tops, meager cedar. Something heavy falls. Wanting to garden the slope. Prune. 21 Patched cloak - a language root - a thing designating all the meanings - accepting - "look up the concepts which are contained in the Arabic word and keep them all in mind" - motley - checker - to walk quickly - alternation. "Isn't it amazingly cold?" Hearing the tone after. "It is amazingly cold." Liking, excited, the moon risen far back it seemed, over the cliff. In the short grass meadow walking on frozen ground, brittle structure like clinker, particles of crust risen up. On that surface fine grass pillia, a moon surface, very black compact shadow companion. And yet not seeing distinctly into the trees, like a clear blindness, standing in pale grass, the cloud that came up white single definite fish-shape after the moon, rising and growing like a sign, or apparition, then stretched, and seemed to begin to dissolve in the different air above this shelf. An amazing retraction of the sea showing spurs and bones bare, I was rushing among them to see the foundation of the parts of the shore I'll know, nervous expecting it to flood back suddenly, it seemed a held breath. Seaweed on rocks felt frozen under gumboot soles. "It felt like the sea had gone away." Now I hear it flummocking in. "Murres and murrelets." Common murre, cormorants drying off on the bullet-holed cliff face. He showed the ice beard where water seeps from the rocks. "I've taken different positions on this island." Bright eyes, neat shape. Liking to be sitting with the one who takes the center. Kindness and patience, the right size and sound, satisfyingly fathered, I speak out forward - forehead - "I've been wondering if the rose brambles are native" - the multiflora stock - the one double-flowered hawthorn - "You can't grab them but they'll let you through." Coming uphill in the dark excited from having been speaking, no, have been excited days; go over the speaking, inward excited voice. As it get later the fire has less power as if darkness penetrates the room.
22 the transition of colors and then to colorlessness It is free and quiet and sufficient paternally, stamps itself on your six senses and four elements, in it light is absorbed Forget subject and object, sever yourself from understanding, and directly penetrate deep into the Buddha-mind. In Shah sensing the secret technologies are to learn qualities and movements already learned by other ways: not knowing what in those times they couldn't do. Cold, bright, rushing with boards, seeing the line of maples, clearing the little house, worrying about overstepping, loud conversation with neighbours and others. 23 Going toward the rosehips hearing the tractor behind, looking into the high top branches of the (maples) where the big orange-breast birds sit and fall, many, then seeing higher up, spiraling, a bird I don't know, moves like a hawk, but very broad wings, short tail, speckled [sketch], is it a kite going through. The bright cold day in the yellow plastic jacket and gumboots - walking differently on the paths and rocks. 24 Athapaskans - Navaho extension. 25 [Invited for Christmas dinner with the Campbells. Jam is visiting.] 26
27
To do, make sure of work. 31
She said of her freezing: "It's not as simple as it looks. I don't just come to a halt, I am still going, but I have run out of space to move in. Our space gets bigger and smaller, it bounces back on itself, and it looks itself around till it runs into itself."
Her standstills had no subjective duration whatever. "Do you mean to tell me I was taking six hours to wipe my nose?" Time-space jerking. [Oliver Sacks The man who mistook his wife for a hat] January 1 1984 By noticing it, jerking out of a (calculation), something I was doing with [sketch] maybe some shapes. It felt to be coming back to - what I was feeling was recognizing - what I have of it is: the sense of seeing something, and recognizing it suddenly as coming back to (work) I had been doing - and then registering the mode, and the shock waking me out of the mind it was. Held back, why. Don't want to. Retrack. 2
Today watery, vegetable stinking in luggage, wet chill. At CFDC both holiday ugly, Kari is pregnant, are they looking at someone whose show was a failure. "Failure" says my father's hand. [Traveling back to Saturna from a provisioning visit to Vancouver]
The way when I was with her I was surprised and in doubt at the way what I remembered knowing was all gone. Hearing the halted speaking. Going through again - in opinion, lost - they needn't hang on in unconnected space - your crude net holds - what I see is a small space, fine lines isolated in the left hemisphere - how did I get in. Grain too big too fast a jump. - Drying out - needing fluid to detox from dairy and animals - fatty acids in lungs hold pollutants - salt - replace dairy by nuts and seeds - (says: not fruit, juice, honey) change slowly. Experiments of lotus root and flour plaster forehead - around eyes overnight - mucus discharge - exercising to open the respiratory tract - deep and steady. -
iris diaphragm goddess of the rainbow attendant of Zeus and Hera, messenger of the gods annular wake vök an opening in ice 5
I wasn't on a path, without seeing it ahead I came to the dead animal, goat head with horns curved back, blue, the color stopped where the skin had been. I came to the dead animal laid beautifully on its side, a small goat, the blue color of the horns stops at the base of the curve, flesh receded from there. Neat legs crossed at the hoofs. The skin where the hair has come off is parchment, bones frame the emptying tent, very small bugs creep out. Moss in rock, piles of soft angles, walking them toward the ridge, without sun but so bright in this slant. Her voice is form, was she drawn from sleeping, "the way it is when you're slightly miserable." "On New Years Day I woke up aching all over" "as if people were in bad shape and I was getting it." "But there was the garden on New Years Eve, Rhoda and I put a candle in it, --- --- on the table." 6 passengers stern stjörn steering coaming a curb about a hatchway or skylight, to keep water from entering, orig. unknown OE cumb? schip schipper tiller telarium weaver's beam, tillen to draw OE helma rudder, to helm sloop sloep slop sloppe loose outer garment, clothes, bedding given to sailors on shipboard, cheap ready-made, slope (to leave suddenly, run off) aphetic var. of aslope, OE aslopen, aslupan to slip away sparre beam as a mast boom yard gaff maest maegan mainland broad expanse of segl luff lof loven loeven to bring the head of a vessel into th wind, with sails shaking leech, leche lijk after edge battens clew lower corner of square, clewen ball of cord, "head, tack and clew," headstay, "weather clew" transom transtrum crossbeam gunwale, walt walu, strakes of outer planking, beat, whale, ridge on the surface of cloth, hwael freeboard hulu (hollow holh) mast step staeppe chock rope is wedged in ( -ablock) cleat clete clott beam support the deck and stay the sides shrouds scrud shelter as under a tree stays staeg standing and running rigging, rigga Scand. halyard haul gierd rod (geard end) sheave shive sheeve slice grooved wheel on the port tack (= from), tackle, taken to seize, has the sense of pulling, stitching, pressing, holding down, a dart or run, the gear used, direction, harness, sudden forceful seizing heel heeld hieldan lower end of the mast, stern, spar etc lee hleo as opposed to weather keel kjölr Dutch kiel ship OE ceol ON kjöll hiking (?) hitch hicchen sheet scyte linen cloth, to sheet, sheet anchor trymman arange, strengthen trum steadfast, strong capsize cabo capstan cabestan capere yardarms braces close-hauled to change direction, haul, said of wind, haler to change course away from something, pull, change direction, the distance pulled on the wind, close-and-by reaching on or forward of the beam raecan, close reach on port or starboard tack, slightly started, beam reach sheets well started jibe gijben running starboard or port jibe ballast bar last bare load bilge bulge bulga bag thwart thverr transverse ON difference weights of breeze brisa NE wind port and starboard rothor oar, scull, sculle, oar side to side at stern, pivot underwater, pressure centre above water weather helm and lee helm In ship language feeling what it might mean, the unconscious being language - the expliciting of another context in tackle sloop main wale with the sense of how much of it was already in use but silent - how - "shapes that were standing by the word / sounded" - the ancestors - that colorless shell sense - the place in the field, the air was interfered - the field was changed - a fovea - small pit - a singularity - converge to more than one focus, imperfect vision or images - a sigm - why is that exciting - a fire a ripple - a freely floating possibility - an intensity of the fluid - the sea concentrated into - alive - it's me excited. How soft a day, hearing an inhale so loud is it a big whale, running out in socks - sandstone colored heads sinking, followed by, the body flowing through a diving loop - sea lions, two, then another, swimming together upchannel. Looking from them suddenly across the water, !, how evenly lovely the blue, no shore, evenly paper-ink a darker blue band. In the soft water-air things bright and clean, lichened rocks. I came over the crest at the point, and saw a brown head swimming toward shore, didn't flash away, kept coming. As I got down squatting to be less seen, the length of sleek brown body, a tail, yes it's an otter. Dives, tail whips, the rolling-under of the body as if over a bolster. Then it swam up the coast but not hurrying, making away but not wanting to seem to be. Joined by another and then further out there were three. It was in the softest time mid-afternoon low tide almost not a gurgle. The surroundedness. Surface of the water without any sharp light. A foghorn sounding from a direction it couldn't be. The ship came into sight after quite a long while, monstrously large voice speaking Japanese on its quarterdeck, rust-red hull without bow-wave in unvarying dark engine smudge through the clear space between whited-out shores. Yes the sense of the soft clarity of water, obliteration of all land but where I am on real shore. Logs broadside with cormorants and their reflections in a row like pins, a long way out. Rice paper. Water/color. That squawk is the beautiful heron disturbed from her tree. Sitting still on the rock seeing and hearing it's all in soft alert, around, it's around me, soft metal, aluminum dust, velvety water, velvety air and rock. The way the water from that white reflected surface opens down just next to the rocks I'm sitting on, into darkness under - maybe I see something - the chicken on the hook - and the softness of air breathed, what it has in it, dissolved plants, goodness, pull it in delight.
Astricted child poop boarded by a following sea rake raca OE ON reka scent with nose to the ground after game, as a hawk, racian to speed forward where the wind lies liegan to lie to without anchor byht bight bend 1. clove hitch clufu cleave cleofoch hicchen, half hitch clove clove and a half 2. figure 8 stopper lump 3. two half hitches end over front 4. reef for two 5. bowline for loop 6. halyard hitch reefing rif rib ON reef points tuck taken moor moren maren Mdutch to fasten, "'mooring anchor' does not mean old engine block" shackle sceacul hawser hausier to lift mooring, towing, ON hals neck, hawse, hawseholes ditty bag sailor's personal stuff, needles and thread pelorus horizontal graduated circle green starboard, red port, white stern broaching to fall of broadside to wind and waves, risk capsize, brocca spike, en broche in a seaway rough sea faethem 2 span rhumb line straight line true course on mercator, 32 points of 11o15' the meridians are each 21,600 (nautical miles = 1 minute of arc, 1o of arc = 60 nautical miles - longer by 1/7th than) knot = 1 nautical mile ph ded reckoning currents' set is direction, drift is speed abaft on be-aftan abaft the beam bow beam and quarter on -- bow, broad on - bow, forward of - beam, abeam to --, abaft - beam, broad on - quarter, on the - quarter, dead astern, dead ahead 7 What in his writing (rejoicing) - he is in an imagination and lays it into some words - the words come through memory without -
The idea of separating the senses
Sparkling in light's kingdom - the woman's wrist held out next to the stream, it's being slashed by light - you're in a clearing, it's full of flashes from the water -
Sound, you dead woman, I'm sending you to sleep - para-pherne dowry - [version of Robert's poem] in
8 Yesterday fog dried off, the uphill pasture when I'd stepped - sparkling - I couldn't see it, but water in the short grass - everywhere sucked - standing looking at the cliff - the sound of water falling, or is it trees - a stag lying under a tree on the brow, motionless for days holding up his rack - eagles - more - six - level - sunning - the lightness of water in grass, the air's warmth - dead lawn and sandstone rising, why was the cliff more present that day? it was warm - does it radiate down, warm wall - the eagles lying on air rising beside it - I liked to stand still well back from it - open perimeter. Decoding Robert's many ways of saying penis - burn or frozen, amputated - delight of remaking it - yesterday quite loving, fantasy of lovemaking in imagination, imagining realizing what we could do and beginning to transmit - along with the Buddhist wedding and parents - today ruthless, angry at how he's always imagined me smaller, letting fly - I'll gladly wreck him - publish your fantasia but now you have to know what they are - homophone code. Today's loud breathing was orcas, fins raked back and then forward, slow rocking progression south - six or seven - they sounded for a fishboat but then I saw them again - from the porch - beyond the point - heard, then saw, and ran out in Stiefel, in pleasure. Like a heavy breaststroke - heard me on the path I couldn't see, and stopped - heavy animal but not the one I could hear breathe. 9 Unsatisfied with the work on R - I indulged and what did I miss? If I reread my feeling for him will I know what he needs (to know) - the idea of psychic mending - viewing the damage from inside, coming to understand it, then starting a movement that will fill in. I'm seeing an actual lesion - patching a circuit - branching around - is it my nerves to patch? 'Latents to transition by reading them" - what I thought Trudy did - feeling myself applying them to him - is that how I take it for myself. Homophone code - speaking the truth writing lies - feeling what word the false context is hiding - brushy - twiggy - a nest or platform in one sense, with a direct saying in another - ("You're in the habit of thinking you can't"). Sense - pores and pours - that was false visual covering true audible - mesmerized by his penis - he is frozen - his imagination by the image of it - then it isn't whether or not he fucks, it's that when he writes images - it isn't either that he's homosexual but he could use it that way - that's where they go. When imagination isn't frozen in genitals, what can it do - unfixing it might be just giving it other particular work? It says in imaginae something is prior to pictors - I don't begin to see this - a hot spot - does it mean when he looks at the tent it excites his thing and he then writes down what it's like? How sexual planting is, and the camps. Thinking of it as battle - as mending work - long engagement - I've been in some unclear way with you, for three years - archetypal - this relation is what it is. -
The person in front is an instrument of the watcher, also a betrayal of the watcher, because it exists in system with the front of the other person. In relating to the division there's despair or work. the lover at grips with the figures. The figures are pests. "indicating his twisted leg without bitterness, as if it belonged to all of us" - Matthiessen Snow Leopard That the stages in this work are once for all, the later depends completely on the accuracy of the earlier. Can I think of it as ballet. Teaching it to flow and also to stop and pull. "are used by the whole self constantly:"
"When I'm by myself I seem to go through a series of doors, a change in the texture." When they see the earth they are frightened, as people are who see the ocean and worry how they should get across. M von M - The coast past the point is very complex - past the soak, it rises fast, there is pasture visible below, with trails but no path down - the cliff in fact overhangs, the rock with its silver-blue lichens (outward expanding) is dry sandstone safe to the edge - slabs - but the wooded sea pasture and below it, the greasy rock fall, driftwood jammed into cracks, a sound cardboard box - just now imagining murdering someone to put down there - him - I was hanging about that place wanting to go down - the cardboard box - something to find - and there was a trail I could follow down, at a slant, a diagonal crack with grass, then rock bulged enough to go down on palms and heels - a fir trunk I could just set my hand against - and then restless nervous finding a way down to the rocks - not sure about the box, which way - the rocks that get high tide, greasy, brown, ugly illogic, nothing in them to find or see, though there should be, the water clear but showing nothing - going back, higher, stooping under branches following the goat trail, an outcrop where they've sheltered, then coming to a fresh wall with an overhang, this would be where to paint - ochres - the way the rocks look as if they may slump, other places that recently have, soaks - the amazing and nervous echo of sea sounds down from the overhangs, the stone gives it a dry quality? coming from stone like light - marks - no just like the sounds are light - talking - babbling - 'a radio, a Japanese sailor' - seeing the roundness of his skin - saying it to him - not knowing if I could climb the bulged rock back - no other way up - if the boot slipped - the shattered rock feels like death - smashed - who fell - there - the animals leaving when I come - eagle I hadn't seen before it flapped away - I don't like the freighters, lights and engines. 10
The astronomical variants - 'the equilibrium theory'
But the summit often lagged ... - fluid dynamics
Phase inequality is the variation in tidal range or lunitidal interval through lunar month due to different dispositions of moon from sun - syzygies is opposition or conjunction and quadrature
Synodic - periodic by nodes - ie conjunctions Diurnal = journal, every 24.7 hours
Solar constituents S2 sometimes exceeds M2 in Pacific, "probably due to resonance of solar disturbing period with natural period of the body of water" Ie there's a solar and a lunar tide Anomalistic - angular distance of planet from its perihelion, as seen from the sun - "the anomalistic month" Types of tides, then:
Age of the tide - up to +7 but can be negative the remarkable fact that the tidal waves often travel in contrary directions on opposite shores, with small areas near their axes showing no vertical tidal movement No-tide points with concentric increase in range - generally counter-clockwise in north (no rise but great flow?) Co-tidal lines radiating counter-clockwise 'Modern tidal mathematicians'
Coriolis Force: a moving particle / its direction of movement / the relation to east-turning / its deflection toward a zone where velocity is like it. Metonic - Meton - 5th BC Athens - 19 year lunar phase cycle - same dates. "The Crown decrees" Seiches - unusual undulations usually in inland waters, rhythmic few minutes to one hour W Bell Dawson Tides and tidal streams Seymour Narrows - 5 hour difference of high water at north and south end - very swift stream Shoaler water shaul sceald shallow relation of sea-use and English London has a mean spring range of 21' - [biography of Florence Nightingale] Greek Latin German French Italian philosophy, history, music and drawing I feel as if all my being were gradually drawing together to one point I must expect no sympathy or help from them. I must take some things, as few as I can, to enable me to live. I must take them, they will not be given to me. #1 Harley Street. "Had become an independent woman of genius." She is ambitious, very. b.1820 - 1852 Crimea. She said she had seen hell, the ghastly fruit of a system she alone, it seemed, had discerned ... She obeyed the summons but she resented her fate. The benevolence so marked in her youth faded. Her astonishing mind developed; her penetration, iron will, scrupulous sense of fair play became still more extraordinary. The sight of long columns of figures was perfectly reviving to her. Died in 1910 at 90. - Reading on tides with knowledge of being stupidly educated - also well - and having to give adult exploring inventive time to learning bases.
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