winter 9

winter notes 

ellie epp




coming to sit on the bus bench with her           looking in her face     tears & stretched mouth but i don t feel her



don t hurt me please don t hurt me

are you remembering something?        who hurt you      did somebody hurt you?

don t hurt me please don t hurt me


three police cars, one on the sidewalk           surrounded       big males           he grabs her arm & shouts

don t yell at her        please don t yell at her           i have my arm around her           it s stupid of him to have grabbed her arm

don t hurt me        puts her head on my knee           i think to stroke her hair           it s a light perfumey & cigarette smell           why are they speaking to her in language she won t understand

two go off disgusted           you re not helping me do my job


i just want to go home           i ve got two kids don t hurt me

is she saying what she didn t say to the man who stopped in the alley          what she did say likely


will you come with me?           yes i will if you want

can i go with her?          yes if you like

will you bring me back to this neighbourhood after? i don t have any money on me

sure we can do that


holding her in the back seat of the cruiser       looking at the mounted typewriter and it s small console with 5 lines of writing lit up in red           she s weeping & i feel the pressure to


he was a white man

a white man

he was old

he was old. was he older than your father?


older than your father. was he as old as your grandfather?


not as old as your grandfather. was he fat?


he was fat. did he try to rape you?


did he rape you

he tried to           he pushed me out of the car

did he grab your breasts

YES! he grabbed them        he hurt me


when's your birthday

the tenth of february nineteen sixty


the little met her at the door        pajama top        pale skin        toddling over        begins to smile


is this your old man? you better have a look

they turn on the light           two men looming into the room where people are sleeping        a baby cries           the woman is still weeping


waiting at the top of the stairs        hello little        touch his tummy           he sits beautifully down


be careful on the steps they re icy          coming down on white frost    blue light        how do you like police work?


i guess i ll put it down as indecent assault         tomorrow she won t remember a thing i bet you anything


opening the back door of the cruiser, the one in the passenger seat opens his, will you be alright?

clumping lightly      long black skirt yellow raincoat rubber boots           naturally!           springing thru the narrow corridor between the building & the fence


you had your warm jacket on underneath, i thought you d gone out in just the raincoat

i thought i d put this on over in case she was dirty          

so you were really organized & i thought you were really disorganized