winter 6

winter notes 

ellie epp




the tall one goes out into the spotlight, holding the door with her trailing left arm, for the shorter & older one, who has just said 'i feel as if i m ten pounds lighter,' and who now, passing into the brighter light, with her face held back toward me as her shoulders go on forward thru the door,      is saying goodnight. i am standing above the two steps at the head of the corridor, and when i turn back to the laundry room door, i am seeing, the first midway down the corridor & the second near its distant, darker end, two bands of light from cubicle doors left open. this sequence as i pause to consider the look of the corridor & to wonder if i am also remembering it, seems familiar, as if a dream i v recalled & wondered at:        i am working in a steambath, two east indian women leave by the street door, the one leaving last looks at me from an intent pained face & says goodnight.    i see the corridor with two bands of light thrown across it, one halfway down, the other near the end


two, the nearer more intense; followed by another two of the same structure



she allows herself to saturate into her own past time but she arranges into it recognitions for the reader, information catching up


flying over the east field            islands in furrow lines      remainders        snow in black lines           the flier says it s archeological           foundations left on the hill i love


'capture the strength & delicacy of every sound'


have transplanted the two poplars           one i can see from across the precinct    arena    has died           a support built around it, nails driven into the trunk           someone else built the support for the other so it was buffered


the small temple of ephesus falls over near them           there are men with bull masks running at & overturning other men


before, it was a barn, the rich farmer let the bull roam in the stalls, i climbed to the ceiling, they were unconcerned, he was going to take us to see expensive cows


i was thinking the temple had tipped because it was inside the larger temple & field of the god antagonistic to its god           the poplars were also of ephesus


'if someone asked me if i had a child i wanted to say      i have a son but he doesnt t live with me'


she puts out her extraordinary field & everything in it resolves           then years later her memory has it so intense & complete that she can just hold it in front of her & write it down


'in an unbroken flow that by reason of its temperature ..' left her free to wander



come'on my darling i like you best           but your desperate poking last time that i dont forgive because you liked it


watching the sense of when we understood each other & when not



two rings     h'lo           laugh      'i dont think i meant to call you i thought i was calling someone else'

'i think you did i'm afraid there s going to be a war'

'what are they saying on the radio'

'they r saying things about russia again, and theres a recession in america'

'you mean you re thinking of your family?'

'i have to go now                   i mean i have to go because of the feeling there is in me about it'



looking at last summer s photographs finding them innocent mysterious & accurately conveying,     satisfying


i did go far into disintegration to get them



is it literal the way the light changes when she does



look he sez, gotta go down town anyway, will you drive me           then he wants me to stop at city hall           he hadda stop at the bank first           you gotta grease a few of the boys ay            oh emilio told you about that, he sez