my mother has lost track of herself (or have I)
m: well, I don't know whether ... I don't know
whether he should know it, or whether he shouldn't know it,
I don't know there are many things
and, I mean if you can sort of keep that, the rest of it, out,
I don't see any sense in bringing it in if it's possible to sort of keep
it out
d: yeah but what i'm asking is whether it is possible to keep
it out, also
m: well that, I don't really know, do I
d: yeah. no.
radio: (music) vers ou vous tournez maintenant,
qu'est-ce qui habite ...
au 'voir
small frightened voice:
but what I don't understand
(static crackles)
is how is crazy
(breath)
thinkingisnot speaking
in craziness they I imagine someone
following her own version
(footsteps over)
when I was at that place and I thought I
would come here, oh -
(silence, washing sounds)
can I make that story up
can I make that story up in a voice i'm not
ashamed of
(nose blow)
there w- is no one else alive here
these people are safeinthearms of jesus
asleep evermore
when I look at them to see what it does for them
and I see they are like me
(footsteps)
why is that a surprise
did I want jesus to be there
they are like me, but what is jesus in them?
and do I have to -
I made myself the witness against
jesus story and
(footsteps limping up)
(three knocks)
m: I dunno I don't uh you know I saw it right away
that the pictures were gone. I don't know why I noticed
it so soon. we came home late and still I saw it
right away the pictures were gone, and uh,
the first thought was, well, they better not be destroyed
underneath in my dreams I was having oh, what was -
it wasn't pictures that were gone, but my my, uh,
journal
d: your journal!
m: sure, part of the, uh probably part of the meaning
of the pictures there
(washing sounds)
it was a bit easier to relate to you then,
you weren't so far away,
(cups)
I don't mean geographically,
d: yeah I know what you mean
m; then. that was sort of the girl that wrote home,
wrl - wrote letters home
d: yeah
m: much oftener, and uh, showed more affection
d: yuh
m: all these things were part of it
(dishes)
d: but the, the voice that's in those letters, not
all of them but, but some of them is a very false
voice
m: oh but some of the -- I mean, you will be misreading
some of it now too though, you wouldn't remember
exactly
d: i do remember, i do remember exactly
|