field & field index field notes ellie epp

- 11



lentils. there may be no money next week either



the garden & oh the russian winter garden                the table,    the red withes,   dark red,    the thin shadow of the water poplars standing right across to the wall                     the order & being of the garden now that it has grove   table    bench    & winter light

           the water is clear black from leaves fallen in             more

           the garden itself what it wasn't before          it is an estate & time                thin light & shade      height of the trees        few stiff large leaves swinging      the ground scatter black & yellow that makes the woods, the creek



my japanese



not about but from


i have been with you as if you were a room



3 weeks.  the light       steady             wave               on the stone

i miss you                    (i'm here)                     are you really

(gather it)                    but i will                       (yes you must)



it's very dark               sunday

the rain from one shingle to the next



when i am in the considering a thing to describe is when i'm mediumistic                 -            what does it mean that attention looks at one thing to get a message about another            -           mediumistic in that tiny way    -           esp when the message may be one i cd have had direct, it is ordinary enough                  -                                   is it a developed doubling                 more than in earlier days of having an 'outer' life       -


          in which the fine shade came as an angling of a word         -



what do i want                        -           i don't want it to be a marginal life       -          

i don't want to be a stupid spirit