raw forming volume 2 part 4 - 1964 july-september  work & days: a lifetime journal project

27 July 1964 Thursday

You still haven't heard about the exciting things of the week before Montreal. Or did I tell you about canoeing with Mike. He asked me to go sailing, but when he arrived in his rickety-tickety company van, the canoe was on top. We go out quite often in the van because his car always has some boating equipment either on or in it! And usually the van is missing both its back seat and the front passenger seat (to make room for canoes) so that I sit crosslegged on a sheet of plywood on the floor! And this evening he said "How would you like to go canoeing?" So we scrambled down a bank with the canoe, paddles, and a mysterious package. It is very difficult not to fall over into the water when you are balancing a canoe on your head while crawling down a seventy degree slope.

We paddled across a bay to Cedar Island, which is a small limestone island covered with small bushes and large trees, and which is a bit magical-looking from across the water and actually even more magical-looking when you are there. Canoeing, especially when there is a small swell that you have to traverse crosswise, gives you a feeling of actually riding the water, much more than a flatbottomed float or a motor boat that struggles against the water rather than riding it, and even more than a sailboat, which is half an air-craft. A canoe feels every movement of the water and responds to it.

When we got to the island there was exploring of course. We settled on a spot eventually that was on the opposite side of the island, looking across the mouth of the Saint Lawrence through a few of the thousand islands. We built a fire beside a wall of rock that was covered by minute bits of moss that traced caveman-drawing patterns on it and felt very sheltered and primitive (don't worry Mother, not completely primitive). And when the fire had burned down to coals, Mike got out his knife and cut two green sticks, sharpened at one end. Then he opened his mysterious package - steak, tomatoes, bacon, milk. "Cut the steak into chunks" he ordered, so I did. "What for?" "Have you ever had shish-kebob?" It is a woodsman's adaptation of an Arabian favorite, I think - the green stick is a spit for alternating chunks of steak, bits of bacon, and tomato slices. When it is roasted over the fire and turned slowly, the flavours of the different things melt together and when it is eaten from the stick or pulled off and eaten with the fingers, it is juicy and delicious.

Sat around and talked while the fire burned down, for a long time. Then put the fire out, and raced over the hill to the other side of the island at about midnight, whistling loudly, different tunes of course. As we were launching the canoe with many quips and retorts, a voice from a motor launch docked nearby made some dreadfully disgusted remark, but we shouted a gleeful "Goodnight, sir" to him and pushed off across the bay again, this time with moonlight.

28 Friday

Peter is in the sitting room now, watching the moon-shot coverage on television. A press conference is being shown now, and it appeals to me for the many faces listening so intently and everyone leaning forward in their chairs, firing questions into microphones. Moon flights are suddenly less chimerical, and we can begin to feel the slow apprehension of Change. But I'll always remember Mrs Kinderwater when I hear of moonshots and new exploration. Do you remember the afternoon when we were having tea with her and she said, "I wish I were growing up in this age. It is a wonderful time, so much happening, so much changing." I hope to feel the same way when I am an old woman, and I think I will. I think you will too, as long as the outward looking windows stay open.

I have been sitting and talking to Betsy tonight - I'm becoming very fond of her because she has an enthusiasm, warmth, humour, joyfulness, that is rare and valuable. I'm just beginning to realize how important a capacity for joy is in the people I love. (And I'm sorry that Betsy will be here for only a month more before she goes back to college in New York.) I think of Dennis Maxwell, the Windrims, Olivia, Janeen once upon a time, many of the Stratford kids, Auntie Anne. My best friends are the people to whom I confide - sometimes my troubles but not necessarily - my joy. It is irritating to go out with so many perfectly nice boys because they are so flat-toned.

Betsy's mother was a Jew, she told me tonight, and I realized with a start that she does look a little Jewish - dark skin and dark curly hair with her black eyes. Perhaps that was why I liked her so much all along. Her mother died about three years ago and her father remarried, a very pretty young widow with three children. Betsy herself is not at all religious, and neither is her father - who writes her long affectionate letters nearly every day. It seems nice. Betsy spent three years with her family in Paris in her early teens, and most of her high school years in Washington DC.

A characteristic of Betsy that is rather endearing is her inarticulateness. She thinks well, but has a great deal of difficulty phrasing her thoughts consecutively, so that often you have to wait a long time for her to feel her way through a sentence. There seems something very good about her that attracts me, but that I don't understand yet. Perhaps her joyousness, perhaps her freshness and spontaneity, perhaps her involvements. I don't feel any particular attraction for Vicky for although she is lovely and intelligent, I can't feel any reality - ie joy, I suppose - in her. Strange.

Judy has not written me again so you will have to send on the one that you got. I remember how letter-writing lazy berry picking makes you. Summertime seems bad too, because I've been writing much more erratically. I think it is the lack of discipline generally; I'm looking forward to academic discipline again too. The scholarship vouchers have been sent off - $554.00 in fees! $275 to pay back last year's loan. I'll need more money, perhaps a grant. And I'll be working 72 hours a month next year, at I hope a dollar an hour - it will be hecticly busy. Fulltime work is 160 hours a month, so I'll be doing almost half-time. Plus two executive offices. Plus a page of letter per day. No time for friends? Olivia will be disgruntled and complain loudly that I'm like a straying husband who is never home. We still don't have an apartment. We are looking for an unfurnished because Mrs Howell is thrilled at the thought of helping us furnish.

Congradulations, Judy, your marks are as boring as ever. [ie all H's]

Have you heard anything about Janeen? Peter says he heard rumours that she was studying French, summer school, somewhere in eastern Canada.

August 2, Sunday morning

A muggy Sunday morning with church bells.

Did I tell you about my little rock? Tony gave it to me - it is crusted with some sort of sandy, lava-like material, but someone broke a piece out of it and inside are white crystals of quartz. It is quite wonderful. I have it on my desk.

Have you heard of a book called The prophet by Kahlil Gibran? It is a very gentle book, philosophy I suppose, with the short talks given by a departing prophet to the people he is leaving, about twenty six chapters on things from love to houses to friendship, to talking, time, religion, death. The prophet seems to say many of the things I'd already half-decided for myself, and he says them very clearly and almost biblical-ly without the confusing allegoires.

Norm came for the weekend yesterday - Ottawa is only an hour and a half away - and we went to a movie, then sat in the sitting room French doors reading The prophet. Of course Brian had to stumble in on this because he is always teasing me about reading poetry with boyfriends.

We are going on a picnic today, after my stint at CFRC this afternoon. And then - you will be envious - we are going to hear the National Youth Orchestra in Grant Hall!

It is August. What does Judy plan for after the raspberries - beans or cannery?

I went bowling with Tony yesterday afternoon - he beat me scandalously, then raced me home on the bikes and was soon half a block ahead of me, then bragged about both triumphs as only insecure twelve year olds can. Do you know about Tony? He is a very handsome boy - twinkling blue eyes, tan, a very boy body. And he has the highest IQ in Sunnyside as well. Bright personality. And a delinquent bent - he hasn't stopped running away, stealing, lying, or bullying since he came about three years ago. He has parents now: Tom and Pat are university students. Pat is very young and very shy, but Tom is older, confident, and verry, verrrry, big. I think I've told you about them. They are willing to tackle Tony. There are good chances that he will give them a great deal of trouble - taking him is a risk, but if it turns out well he will turn out very well.

I must go to the radio station now, see youse later.

3 August Monday

The picnic was at a place in someone's pasture that we found weeks ago on our drive through the thunderstorm. It is a very large outcropping of pink rock, worn into smooth curves, that just appears out of the ground. We found firewood from somewhere and built a fire in a hollow on top of the rock, then had shish-kebob (very black and rare in the middle). Then lazed. And we inevitably read Hopkins - Norm's favorite poet and one of mine - he is difficult to read aloud but Norm is good at it.

Then we packed up and went to the concert. Our seats were in row A, the front row, right under the feet of the orchestra. And beside the cello section!

They spent a great deal of time sawing and tuning up. Then a curly haired artistic looking young man walked in - everyone else applauded so I did too. The concert master, he turned out to be - the first violinist (called the 'principal violinist' I think) or the orchestra leader next to the conductor. In Europe a long time ago, the first violinist led the orchestra and there was no conductor.

Then the conductor. More applause. A large man in a white jacket, a very homely face. Then, the overture to the Marriage of Figaro. Mozart. Boys in dark suits, girls in white blouses and dark skirts. We were so close that we could see a few performers well and the rest not at all - I thought it was a wonderful seat, because, even with choirs, don't you find yourself having to watch a few of the many faces?

The faces that now ARE the Youth Orchestra to me were: Angel - a young blond girl, about fifteen, with very smooth blond hair caught back in some very old-new fashioned style around her dreaming and completely expressionless face: she was wearing a plain and soft white blouse with long sleeves that just showed her slim fingers on the cello strings - she was so pale-gold in both coloring and expression that she seemed very much an angel. Mark - thin young boy of about fourteen, with very large ears, long dark hair, dark intent face that reminds me of Paul's a little, rapt posture, balanced on the edge of his chair with his spine very straight, complete involvement in his music. Pigtail - a rather plump and very European-looking girl, very young, very pink-faced with one long braid down her back, flat black shoes, completely unselfconscious clothes, fat little hands that slid up and down the strings amazingly and almost desperately. Susan Mustard - a thin jerky girl with unruly grey-brown hair, a shiny red nose, a long agonized face, old-fashioned white high heeled shoes, old black satin skirt and a low necked white cotton blouse that exposed nothing but taut muscles and skimpy bones, really beautiful arms moving almost passionately with her music and the leaping expressions on her face. Laverne - an older girl of perhaps twenty two, wearing sophisticated Montreal clothes, a ruffled Paris blouse and an A-skirt, carefully arranged hair and precise makeup, an air of abstraction even before she began to play - once, between selections, I saw Pigtail turn around to look at her, and she smiled reassuringly at her, so that I think Laverne is probably a good person.

The names I've given these people are either those invented by Norm and me during the programme or those we decided belonged to them after studying the list of cello players. Norm is really a very good person to go to concerts with because we always especially like the same passages in the music and the same people in the orchestra or audience. And we seem to think the same things at the same time. Some people are those you attend a concert with, and some are those you experience a concert with. As for the attendees you might just as well have gone by yourself, except that then you would have to buy your own ticket - she said callously.

First, the overture, which was I suppose good but I thought it was quite unextraordinary. Then something contemporary called Le Rite du Soleil Noir - the rite of the black sun. It was very smashing and eerie, and it seemed incongruous to see such very young faces crashing through so much dark, old, passion. What do they understand of it and what do they learn from it? I'm sure that they can't play it untouched. Then the Mendelssohn Symphony that seemed much more suitable to them but which they played with much less energy or participation. My favorite of the concert was next: Night on a Bare Mountain, by Moussorgsky, who is quite recent and very exciting. The music was partly pictorial, showing a dark night with fear, enchantment, storm, isolation and a kind of frightened joy fluctuating through it, always over a throbbing cello darkness. Then a lightness - dawn, violin, a wind. Last, something called The Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra, by Benjamin Britten, who is so contemporary that (I think) Dr George met him. It is particularly good for this orchestra because it showed off about thirteen kinds of percussion and every other instrument brilliantly in solo parts, and because it was bursting with what one of the radio operator calls 'potboiler' fireworks.

At the end of the concert, the usually slow and dubious Kingston audience was on its feet in a standing ovation that went on and on until I was sure I could not clap any longer (but could), with some man in a white dinner jacket shouting "More! More!" The conductor, whose face had led the orchestra through peace to war and back to peace through anger, laughter, ridiculousness (Norm said, "It is wonderful and grotesque to see so much in such a common face"), shook hands with the concert master three times, and shook BOTH his hands, then hugged him. The concert master kept bowing and bowing. And Angel looked at Susan Mustard and smiled a hugely delighted smile.

5 Wednesday

I'm enclosing Dr George's review of the concert - it is a good review and even seems to agree with mine in spots! His personality comes through - intelligent, enthusiastic, articulate, humourous, disrespectful.

Summer seems to have come to a standstill: the flowers have stopped blooming, cold days alternate with hot ones, the leaves aren't yellow exactly, but seem to be less green. Incidentally, do you still have leaves or did the caterpillars get them? I find that I am excited about visiting you. If I leave on Sept 1, that will be arriving Sept 3 or 4? And I have to be back at work for the 14th, 15th, and 16th when school starts. We are still apartment hunting.

I told you about my cut-off bluejeans didn't I? They come to about three inches above my knees so they are bona fide shorts. They are so comfortable that I only change out of them to go out - they even go shopping downtown. The reason that I'm relating this mundane detail is that it is not really mundane at all; it is quite a victory. Mother will probably have grasped that already - remember the girl who used to refuse to get the mail from La Glace without socks on? I think I'm all through wincing; and it is good.

August 6, Hiroshima Day

A new staff worker here is Bill Carlett: just recently graduated with his B.Sw. from McGills, twenty nine, short and balding, fat, quiet. He has lived alone with his parents until now, and the racket at Sunnyside is nearly his finish. He has small eyes and a small mouth, all nearly lost in his soft round face. He is probably very nice. I wonder if he will ever learn to hollar at children. At the moment he is moving very slowly and cautiously, so different from Peter Hagedorn's lightning, half-fun and half-serious bam-bam handling. Maybe he will be good for extroverted children.

One of our daycare children is Harold, who is eight I think, but retarded - he is blond, blue-eyed, pink-skinned, very silent except for flashes of temper in which he jumps up and down and gibbers indistinguishably. His speech defect blurs his speech so that children and even his parents can usually not understand him. His family is a family of good minds and liveliness - they can't stand him. He is very sweet and it is very sad.

Another of our daycare kids is very much the opposite - David Mead is ten, a 130-plus IQ, freckled, inventive, flashingly green-eyed and red-headed, a troublemaker. The school and the neighbourhood watch him from the corner of their eyes - he's an accomplished liar, thief, cheat. But there is so much fundamentally terrific about him (Miss Detweiler's phrasing) - our first problem here is to make him understand that we know he is intelligent - that we are intelligent too - and that we usually know what he is up to. And that he can succeed and manage without his old tricks - at home, his wealthy but penny-pinching parents (his father is a physicist) and his three other siblings can't understand or stand him. He is beginning to trust Sunnyside. I wish we could salvage David because he is potentially so much.

And I'll see you soon. I'll bring some records. Am I welcome?

-

There is a plum tree growing beside one of the Sunnyside walls, leaning over what was once the stables and is now the school. The children have been throwing stones and sticks up to knock down the half-ripe plums all day. Tonight, now that they are safely asleep, I climbed the tree myself to pick a handful. Do you know about my nightgown? Blue checked with lace and long sleeves, very good-girl. It caught a bit in the tree, but the bark was rough and good for footholds. Picking fruit in the dark is like receiving gifts. Judy will remember last year, picking cherries in the rainy dark at Mr Dyck's. You put out your hand to brace yourself, and the tree puts a plum in your hand. Tonight the cat, Tinker, climbed up with me but refused to have any part of this mad and night-gowned plum picking.

Now it is several minutes after midnight, and I'm afraid that I am having one of my orgies. How I hate to go to bed. There are too many books, records, things to think out. Could we not perhaps change things so that the day started at noon and ended at three a.m.? But oh! Oh! No! I refuse to give up my mornings. How long can one live on three hours of sleep. And poor Mother is already worried about me on accounts

Mama, Mama, I knew you would fly out with all sorts of anxieties when I told you that I'd done weekending with Peter. You seem to have read things in lilac ink between the lines: some of them may even be true, but not nearly as dramatically violet colored true as your romantic heart will timorously like to think. Unfortunately! Explosive, I'm afraid, it is not. Who will explode? Me? I've found very disappointingly that I have not a single passionate inch of tissue or bone or brain. The only things I can get passionate about are nonanimates like plum trees and waves. It is a great shortcoming. And if you knew Peter a little better you would know that he is not in danger of exploding either: he is very security-minded and that includes emotions too. And besides, I'm overweight! How does he feel about me? Affection, attraction perhaps, gemütlichkeit, friendness. And who cares about the particulars of it? I hope that you are not terribly relieved or disappointed at the absence of grande amour Mother. Maybe another time.

You asked some questions Mother. Yes, a whole lot of kids are waiting for new homes: Carol, for one, and Cathy, Helen, Marlene and Sherry; none of the boys beside Tony seem ready, and our new people have been mainly boys. Now we are handling seventeen kids and three day care kids in a setting designed for twelve!

I often think how captivated you would be by Simon, who is one of the least disturbed kids I've ever seen by the way. Some of the other married staff would adopt him on the spot and make wonderful parents for him, but there is one hitch: he is a Catholic child and must be adopted by a Catholic family. What a tragedy that most Catholic homes are over-full and he needs parents now before he does become disturbed.

Frankie can't stay on at Sunnyside because Mrs Lord has almost recovered from her operation and will want her job back.

I've asked Miss Detweiler too, about whether Carol will be hurt when I go back to school, and she advised that near the end, I should ease things off a bit. She also knows that you can't avoid good relationships because of the possibility of hurt because they are so necessary for personality formation. And besides that, I'll be hardly deserting her when I'm working 72 hours per month even while going to school!

It is interesting to hear about things like Mrs Siebert changing her hairstyle. I thought she never would, I've always liked her.

I bought my ticket today: leaving Toronto on the first and leaving Edmonton on the way back sometime on the 10th. That would hardly be long enough, but even this two-week holiday is a special favour and Sunnyside will be hard pressed for workers during that period especially.

Bob Carlett told me tonight that "after thinking about it a great deal," he has decided not to stay on at Sunnyside. He began by saying that his decision was made because he discovered that Sunnyside was too unstructured and not clinical enough to make use of his years of training, but during some friendly probing, admitted that there were personality factors involved: ie he is much too timid and retiring and afraid of noises and not nearly rambunctious enough to handle our seventeen hoods; and his plump soul recoils at the clamour. I think it would be good for him to stay here and develop some grit, poor pillowy man, the kids could be so good for him. Sunnyside Centre for Putting Iron into the Backbone of Child Care Workers!

John, Betsy's brainy boyfriend, sent her a letter here (airmail from downtown!) addressed to the Sunnyside Centre for Lost Souls.

7 August Friday

I took David Mead and Teddy fishing this afternoon, and it happened that the brigantine was in dock, just back from New York, so that we spent the time fishing off the dock beside the ship and staring (or smiling!) at the cadets climbing the riggings and polishing brass. Several motor launches were docked nearby, and from one of them, a most interesting man appeared to sit on the dock with us and talk. He is a bachelor-farmer-photographer-ski instructor-painter-Unitarian rolling stone with greying hair, a pipe, and a very casual manner. We had a good talk - he comes to Kingston on his boat every Thursday to see the psychiatrist! This time he brought three nephews who shared our lunch and our fishing worms.

Perhaps you noticed the 'Hiroshima Day' notation at the top of the page: it is an anniversary of the first bomb that CUCND celebrates as a grim reminder.

Peter D is in town, stowing himself away in a motel, and will be here in a minute - he has a ride with a friend and they are leaving for Stratford tomorrow morning. So we are going to tour Queen's in the blue lightning tonight until perhaps 4 a.m.: not so late if we get bored. I'm getting kids up tomorrow morning at 7:30.

9 Sunday

How was Peter? Tired from a week of exam cramming, but rather high spirited. The high spiritedness is a usual characteristic of PAD though and can be taken for granted when it isn't replaced by low spiritedness. Anyway, beginning about eleven p.m. on Friday we set out on a walking tour of Kingston: campus, lakefront, and park. The lakefront performed beautifully: crashing waves, whitecaps, and blue-yellow lightning. Campus was very quiet, very leafy, very scholarly-serene. The park was eerily lit to almost daylight brightness by blue-ish streetlamps. The tiers of leaves on the lower branches were transparent to the light and so seemed to be light themselves.

We eavesdropped on a party across the road upstairs by leaning against someone's sportscar and staring. We even frisked a bit: Peter stood on his hands and climbed on a stone park gatepost, chinned himself on a plank beside the library construction site, even whistled. Does that sound like the egotistic and sometimes stuffy Mr Dyck?

Then we came back to Sunnyside (at 3 a.m.) and had tea and 'visited' until the sun came up. Then he took a taxi to his hotel and I went on duty getting kids up!

It is about eleven thirty a.m. and I am listening to the Haydn Divertimento that Judy gave me for Christmas.

-

I've wanted to tell you about the masquerade party we had on Saturday afternoon. This was the afternoon after the no-sleep night.

All of the children had costumes and we had a flurry of tying sashes and putting on makeup and admiring in our rooms (an invitation to a staff bedroom is very special): the front verandah was decorated with large purple and black abstracts (paintings the children had done with their feet earlier in the afternoon); music was broadcasted onto the front lawn from loudspeakers in the second floor bedroom windows.

The kids: Brenda, who is naturally a helpless giggly little female, was glorious and fluttery in a red ballet tutu, diamond earrings and several necklaces, broches, bracelets, and her plaid bedroom slippers. Carol, in a short pleated satin skirt and peasant blouse, with a pink satin rose on top of her head looked half-majorette and half-colt. I gave all of them exaggerated black eyes, red round cheeks and Scintillatingly Scarlet mouths.

Blond, fragile Sharon wore a wiglet-bun and one of Sushila's old saris. She hobbled like the little Chinese men classic in Oriental movies, but she waggled her little flat behind just as seductively as she possibly could.

Peter dressed the boys: blond Stevie was swashbuckling in a flattened-with-age velvet chevalier hat, wicked pointed black moustache, and sweeping gold cape. He naturally looks so appealingly naughty that the role was a perfect fit. Tom was very long and I'm afraid monkey-looking in a soldier suit, because he has such lengthy bare bones and sunken eyes. Teddy was a wild Injun. With half-moons painted on his cheeks. Simon tumbled about in a baby-soldier suit with cape, sword, cap.

When everybody was ready we went out in the front and started the music. Then we had a Polonaise - an old Polish folk dance. Two by two with Peter and me raggedly leading (but enthusiastically - hops and skips and confidential grins when the kids weren't looking) a very shaggy line of couples through promenades, ducks under our London-Bridge raised hands, circles and turns. Then we had minuets. One-and-two-three, one-and-two-three, turn and bow. One-and-two-three Peter's voice with its comical Dutch accent and spontaneous glee leading mismatched couples who were always two counts behind him and the music. Walzes - the staff picking up one child each and whirling him front-wards piggy-back through all sorts of walzing turns and glides. Then ballet: first, the Nutcracker Suite which the kids know backwards and perform beautifully; then Peter and the Wolf acted out delightfully with Tom as a comic Peter, Brenda as a fluttering red-net bird, Marlene as the purring Negro little cat scooting about on the ground, Carol as a hair-tossing, snarling, leaping wolf caught to the tree, Teddy as a buckskinned and stalking hunter, Sherry as the plump waddling little duck. The kids are exciting actors and they do the play without any selfconsciousness. In the Nutcracker Suite they are languidly awakening flowers, leaping Russian Trepok-dancers, flashing twittering Sugarplum Fairies, everything with so much energy that I found myself joining them in spite of myself. I'd give a great deal to be able to skate and to dance. There is something very thrilling about creating and expressing in motion.

These children in many ways are a blessing: they develop the children in us I think - I know that my affectionally and expressively rigid personality is loosening just from dealing with them. You become emotionally more spontaneous and expressively much less self-conscious working with them. And these kids are absolutely matter-of-fact about my awkwardness in dancing. All they really care about is that you are in there with them. I'm crazy about lot of them, and it is so easy to show it. And so necessary. Love is our working material and personal relationships are our technique. Creative work, and for me at least, a sort of creative becoming.

Perhaps that is why Peter Hagedorn is such a remarkable person. Aside from the intelligence, awareness, and creative imagination which he has enormous amounts of, he has as well a seemingly completely free personality. He is a cynic in theory, but he lives like a child who loves things and times and adores himself and the world although and because he knows they are so ridiculous. His plans for the children - the ball and the masquerade this time - are always imaginative and he participates with them, as one of them. He seems to have no self-conscious feelings and not a sliver of inferiority complex. He is ugly in a way, crooked front tooth, bristling hair, but we find him very attractive. His body is part of his attractiveness - very active, running, painting, toe-wiggling, built like a bullfighter's. He loves crazy clothes like plaid ponchos and red-pocketed tight black trousers or a pair of pale green bamboo-looking skinny pants. He capers, dances, sings, whistles, hugs and tickles and shouts at children all at exactly the right moment, drinks rum and listens to Callas, or talks all with the same tight joyousness. He doesn't give a whit about the opinions of other people, he doesn't worry about a thing and despises money-worship, he knows how to enjoy food or art or music or books intensely and critically. If I didn't have some of the sense of the ridiculous that wears off from him, I'd probably fall laughingly in love with him, but his insouiciance about such a giddy myth makes even the idea proposterous. Another reason for enjoying Sunnyside.

- And Miss Detweiler too. Green querying mocking eyes like a large cat's over the rim of a rum glass, hair tied back wildly with a white shoelace, flat shoes and striped pedal-pushers, large mouth and alert but womanless body, freckles and blond hair on her arms. She has an arrogance about her too that I like very much. She never says anything nice to or about anyone else except for a good reason, her humour is half-grin and half-grimace, biting. She is interested in everything worth being interested in. She refuses to listen to you unless you are talking about something interesting. But if you are, she gives you her full green-eyed and dangerously sardonic attention. You watch yourself or else. She is delightful. She knows it.

I don't seem to be getting any sleep but I seem to be becoming more energetic and happier if possible with every late night. But then to sleep in in the morning. How are you all? Please be fine: else I shall feel guilty at being so coddled by Olympus.

12 Wednesday night

Talking family to Vicky tonight makes me realize again how much I am looking forward to the trip and visit in September. And I have spent half the day on an album of photographs and comment on last year at Queen's. I have some very good and exciting photographs in spite of the camera's limitations (which do show up in the photos as well as my technical ignorance). I had thought of sending you the album now, but I'll bring it in September so I can keep it to show to Olivia next weekend (she is coming this Friday to househunt again, and Andy won't be here to monopolize this time!), and to Norm when he comes I think the weekend after, and to Mike when he gets back from a bothersome business trip. The album is primarily an emotional rather than factual record and its theme is what I saw from my Ban Righ window - symbolically, my total emotional outlook on the year.

How to spend the first day off in ten days? A very badly needed one because work after that long becomes mere policing of children and not at all creative. I seem to have a good tolerance for noise and confusion but ten days of nine hours seem to stunt your ability to make yourself or rather let yourself have fun with the kids.

Oh! Sleep until 1:30 in the morning-afternoon. Making the album, writing and editing and admiring. Studying every corner and article and advertizement of a photography magazine. Bicycle riding. All day in bluejeans and shirt and pigtails and no makeup.

Photography becomes more and more of a dominating interest. I love the creative possibilities of photographs, but I also love the technicalities of it as an art. I think this is related to the part of my brain that loves algebra and philosophical devialities (not in the dictionary: it means deviousness and complexities and abstractities, so on) and what Frank used to say was "thinking like a man."

Betsy has done some beautiful work of the kids: I am going to have copies made and you'll see them as well.

Last night it rained, and the lane, gateway, tree-framing and street lamp made a wonderful light-shadow-form composition that was so exciting one had to run into it down the drive through the warm puddles and become part of the enchantment. Perhaps part of joy is absorbtion into beautiful things or vigorous things.

Thursday the 19th of August

Here is the timetable from September 1 onward:

September 1 ­ leave Toronto 5:15 p.m.
September 3 ­ arrive in Edmonton at 12:25 noon, take the first bus home to Grande Prairie, arrive sometime after that
September 10 ­ leave from Edmonton at 2:00 p.m.
September 12 ­ arrive back at Kingston 7:10 p.m.

I can't possibly tell you what time I will get to GP. Perhaps you could tell me. Could you inquire for me please: what the time of departure is for the first bus leaving Edmonton after 12:25 noon on the 3rd, what the round trip fare is, which busline it is.

So if you would like to meet a bus, please meet the first one that meets requirements - if for some reason you can't meet it - too busy harvesting - stuck in the mud - phone a message to the depot in GP and I'll get a way home on my thumb or something.

Two weeks!

As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies draw flame. Gerald Manley Hopkins

Norm found this scrap of GMH and sent it on the bottom of one of his letters. He is coming up this weekend. He is such extremely good company that it is too bad the chemistry isn't right. I'll send the last letter just to give you a taste of him.

Olivia did appear for the weekend and we had a much better time than before, mainly because Andy wasn't here and I wasn't working. She arrived on Friday night: we immediately both changed into sneakers, Queen's sweatshirts, cutoffs, and raincoats, and charged off down the street singing Oil Thigh. At the Tearoom we sat and talked to Olivia's old friend, Jim the Italian waiter. Then across the campus, to Ban Righ. We managed to wander in just before the doors were locked, and headed straight up the stairs to Ban Righ III - all quiet, but new furniture in all the rooms! My room was ruined, not at all my own anymore: modern and dusty and void of last year. And YELLOW curtains instead of my beautiful blue ones. Eventually someone stuck her head out of Janet's room and came to see what we wanted. It happened that she couldn't sleep, so she invited us in and we sat and reminisced for her and nibbled Cheezies à la last year until some time after midnight. Then we walked downstairs, and who should be guarding the door but Olivia's old enemy, the skinny little woman who made her lose her late leave last spring and was so totally gleeful about it! I could feel Oliver turn gleeful at this opportunity for revenge. So when Mrs X said "Where are you going?", Olivia said "Out" just as maliciously as possible. Mrs X of course said "But you can't do that." And Olivia: "But WE don't LIVE here." And the dear dragon had to let us out without another word, although she rattled her keys in frustrated indignation.

Then we went home and watched the late show with Peter and his rum, and the three dogs. Then we went to bed and talked. Then we became hungry, went downstairs to the kitchen and made an omelette. Slept until noon on Saturday morning, then we went house hunting.

First of all we went to Ban Righ to see Mrs Bryce and get a housing list from her. She looked wonderful, as ever: sculptured grey hair, smart red clothes and shiny shoes. And when she saw us she got rid of her visitors, came forward to take our hands and led us into her office. Graciousness. And Olivia is a special pet of hers.

Spent the afternoon bumming around on bicycles, getting "Sorry but we've just rented" from all our prospects. Met Bonny and Barb just at the Ban Righ side door - they're looking for houses too.

Then we got a lead. A beautiful apartment with three large bright rooms, a view of the park, a balcony that you could climb onto through the window, and yards of closets. Seventy a month, exactly right. So we took it. And the red-faced, gabby man who owned the house spent the rest of the afternoon being hospitable: telling unbelievably dirty stories (but funny!) and offering us beer. The beer was horrible and Olivia had to drink mine before we could leave. The whiskey was easier - I poured it down the sink while pretending to add water.

The apartment found, we went back to the Tearoom for Cokes and to report our success to Jim. Then came upstairs and talked for several hours to catch up on everything because we're such poor correspondents.

On Sunday morning I left Olivia fast asleep while I got up at seven to take Musical Panorama, the 8-12 Sunday morning classics show with operator Bruce Robinson who is delightful company, as well as the music. Began with Bach and ended with twentieth century stuff, quite 'hairy' and potboiler.

Sunday afternoon Olivia and I went back to the studio because CBC TV was filming a series on Queen's, there, and we wanted to see the crew in action. We did - carrying the big cameras in piece by piece, milling about talking to the people who were to appear on the show. Finally we gathered the courage to talk to a tiny man in a powder blue suit who seemed to be in charge and who was pacing back and forth across a black line on the floor. He turned out to be the Studio Director, a radiant man with an obviously keen intellect and a delightful face. He must be something like 4'6". Wonder how he feels.

The afternoon's filming is part of a series of eleven half-hours that will talk about university life, illustrated by interviews with campus people, pan shots of the campus, and sketches of activities. Good for Queen's.

Olivia went back on Sunday night. On Monday night our landlord informed us that without his knowledge but by previous permission the upstairs tenant had rented the apartment to someone else the Friday before. I phoned Olivia to tell her we were again homeless. Then I went out looking. Phoned her back to tell her we again had a home. The apartment we have now if nothing disasterous happens before September, is the third floor of an old brick house. The downstairs and hallway is very shabby and smells of countless suppertimes, but the third floor is airy, clean and all ours - bedroom, living room, kitchen, and a shared bathroom. Olivia will have the bedroom and I'll sleep on the couch in the living room because she is much too untidy for me anyway and will be sleeping later when I have to get up at six thirty to go to work. More about it later. The landlord is Hawaiian, a very hearty warm sort of person I think, and his wife is untidy and probably stupid, but friendly. The family is quite large, going down from a fifteen year old girl to two babies. Several other students live there. It is near the cathedral, a grocery shop, a drugstore, and five blocks from University. Near downtown too. We'll never get over the apartment we almost had tho. This one is sixty five a month which is very cheap I suppose.

21 Friday

Mother, you will think this is cupboard love in demonstration, but I have been thinking of how much I am going to enjoy some of your cooking - notably: a-hem! stew with fresh vegetables! Bran muffins with many raisins! Warm biscuits! Fresh bread both brown and white! Onion rolls! Buns (zwiebak?)! Jam! Oh this is ridiculous, I'm rattling these off with as much excitement as if I hadn't eaten in a year. I'm excited - that's good? I have my ticket.

The Toronto Globe and Mail - we get a daily copy - has been running several columns on the Mennonite Youth Convention in Kitchener - the press seems quite interested and the columns are both interesting and rather favorable.

This letter is short and scrappy because of Olivia's visit over the weekend, and an I-don't-want-to-do-anything flu bug that hit the kids first and then me. We had a polio scare here in Kingston, and Tony had to come straight home from camp because one of the campers was suspected of having it, but nothing more has come of that. Thank goodness for Sabin.

This is most unsatisfactory - have to mail it anyway. Please phone for the bus information.

August 25, Tuesday morning

During the weekend with Norm here there were two adventures you will want to hear about. Saturday night we did nothing but walk miles and miles in the pouring rain until our shoes squished at every step: we waited carefully at every traffic light and did not cross until it turned red. Then we had egg rolls and Chinese tea that tastes like perfume in a little restaurant, and then we walked home while it poured still harder. My raincape is not entirely waterproof.

When we got home at midnight-plus we lit candles in the TV room and set them on the floor for warming fire, had hot chocolate and watched the late show while Peter H and Miss Detweiler got higher and higher in the sitting room; when they get really high, after four or five rum-and-Cokes, they begin to tease the dogs. The two puppies have a ball, and horrible Johann (the hideous daschund yaps at all my boyfriends whenever they come to the door and I detest him), goes into a howling frenzy of jealousy. Miss Detweiler doesn't become noisy, but she does begin to giggle most appealingly. Peter just becomes terribly witty (he thinks) and wonderfully silly (I think).

After the late show we had one side of Corelli and the candles.

Sunday morning we went to church - you'll never guess where! We went to a Friend's Meeting in a small green house, and spent an hour and a half in silence that was broken only when, at widely spaced times, three different people spoke briefly. We were met at the door by a very attractive, very alive young woman with huge brown eyes and a wide smiling mouth, who took charge of us and told us a little about the Meeting, introduced us around. One of the other visitors was an Indian friend of mine, Vishu from Delhi. Seated beside me was a plump woman in a pink-flowered dress, whose hair was orange at the ends and grey at the roots and who wiped most of her face off when she rubbed a kleenex over it. Then, going around the room, there was Vishu, Beth Rogers (the attractive woman), her husband Doug Roberts (a very attractive, very articulate professor at Queen's), a monochromatic little old grey lady, her monochromatic little old brown husband who is a physiologist at Queen's, a European-looking young physiologist just come from Australia with his blond and watery-blue-eyed Dresden young wife, a plump white larva-looking thirteen year old named Philip who is the orange-haired lady's son, and then the orange-haired lady's elderly husband who is a teacher at the pennitentary here.

When the meeting began, complete silence settled. Everyone bowed their head and closed their eyes. According to the pamphlet they gave us to read, a Friend thinks about God or about his past week or about some bit of scripture read during the week. Or prays. They forget about time and about noises in the street. The house is quiet. Time passes very quickly. Then the pink-flowered lady spoke, in an accent I didn't recognize: "I think it is so nic-ice that we lo-ove each other. Although some of us in this room come from strange lands, we know that we have this in common: that we love each other." Silence again.

La Glace September 8

[journal]

The Brothers Karamazov and the red sky-ed tapestry on the wall. Ivan speaking his anger and his disbelief tersely to Alyosha in a Russian café. I shouting my anger against the God my mother believes in, and I shouting anger against Mother's hard work, Father's blind heart, Rudy's bent thin shoulders, Peter - against the realization of his energy and anger. Strangeness.

I love this energy and anger of him. We had supper together here, went driving, stopped at Saskatoon Lake to watch black reeds moving in the textured water; spun and swerved through a sort of nothingness on the merry-go-round, clumped and tilting close in the centre. Holding hands in the car and stopping at the corner in La Glace for just one moment. Sluffing through grass to the small house [where the Dycks used to live].

Rain on the porch, wet dripping from the roof, hair wet, cold water on my back and a strange thorough kiss. Gentle and stirring rather than sharp, as a cat-kiss would be. Opulent. Fleet. Reluctant?

Elusive, afraid of commitment, vital, THERE. I value him! But why must he be afraid of me? And we speak so much in riddles, preferring it, riddles and puzzles, valuable to us. A kind of dancing and darting, near and away, touch and fly. Has he a poor self-concept - does he dispise those who value him?

But I do and shall, value, cherish and question.

At Sexsmith today, brooding from the office window, over the wet grass, the small roofs shining, the blue shack and the footbridge. The pebbles on the gymnasium roof still and calm-colored under the racing rings of light-drops on the water. Anger at goodbyes and the desire to look at Peter and shout Damn! Finally a wordless exit.

I hate to say goodbye and yet I love the ceremony of Lasts. I love Sexsmith, I love Mr Mann and Peter and Wayne Lock and the corridors and corners. Why not say long words to bridge having and not having them? But the uselessness and the dissatisfaction of it.

Masks? Mrs Bellamy - and the impulse is always to say "Bless her" - said "Oh, we could talk for years. It is so seldom that you meet someone you can talk to. Masks. Everybody." She hugged me when I came, and again when I left. She bubbles joy and warmth - small, sturdy, many-colored bubbles like champagne and like soap. Small, round Mrs Bellamy with her open face, her girlish hair around her face, her long goodbyes and her eager questions. She is innocence and youthfulness - wistfulness. Briskness and gentleness. "See my beautiful children: look, etherial, almost." And she introduced them to me one by one, her really beautiful grade one children. "Compassion is the word I remember" and "You must read The Agony and the Ecstasy, Michaelangelo. It made me think of you. Fury, or dedication. It makes me think of Peter Dyck too. Taking the hammer and the Pieta!"

Gerald Student, Pat Ranch, Raymond Olson, the boys I valued last year, Wayne not changed at all. I did love that place! Mother suggested that it might be because there [page missing]

 


Volume 3


raw forming volume 2: september 1963 - april 1964
work & days: a lifetime journal project